NASH CHAT

Enjoy this discussion with Bill Nash - Wingate University

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YMCA Advent

Most times when I walk through the lobby, I catch myself critiquing – the furniture is old, there is trash in the corner, or the coffee pots are empty. But then I see the HUG!

It can be the hug of a parent and child when picking up after school. It can be a hug of two old friends re-connecting. It can be a hug of two best friends at the end of an exercise class, wishing each other a great day. And it can be a hug of a member and a staff person, comforting each other over a life event.

Our mission statement is Helping ALL people reach their God given potential in spirit, mind and body. We take great pride in being a welcoming place for ALL people. 

Today I was reflecting on how overwhelmed I am that Jesus has his arms wide open for me every time I enter the Y, welcoming me no matter what burdens I bring. In this season of Advent, let us ask, who in our lives needs to feel our embrace, so that they can feel the embrace of Christ?

Talking About Bosses

I’ve joked that I have this deep inner desire to be liked. I don’t want to be the “A**Hole Boss”, but I understand that not everyone agrees with me, supports every decision of mine or, and this cuts a little deep, likes me. I am also self-aware enough to understand that around the water cooler, in an office, out having a couple of beers or a plate of nachos, staff like to talk about their bosses.

“Can you believe he made this decision?”

“She is completely lost if she thinks that will work.”

“My boss hardly speaks to me anymore.”

What do you do when a peer starts digging at the boss? Do you just nod and smile and be an active listener and pretend to be that supportive co-worker being empathetic?

Do you pile on and start throwing fire yourself?

The funniest scenarios are when people sit around and complain about the boss and the culture. And they keep piling on and piling on. They are obviously void of any mirrors in their lives.

I think there is another way to be an empathetic peer but still support the boss and the company. What if when the co-worker says, “Can you believe that the boss fired Susan?” Instead of responding, “I know, he is such an A**Hole.” What if your response was, “I can’t imagine how difficult that decision is to make. I am thankful I don’t have to make decisions like that, and I imagine it wasn’t made carelessly.”

“But he doesn’t even look me in the eye now?”

“I am sure he is embarrassed. I know that if I was in charge, I would feel a large sense of failure in that I had let people down in making that decision. That must be tough on him.”

“But the culture around here sucks.”

“Yes, its tough around here now. What can we do to help our boss and our department?”

I am sure as you read this, you’re saying to yourself, “well that’s the last lunch this person ever invites me to.”

Who cares? If you’re inviting me to a “WHINE” session vs after work “WINE” then I’ll take a hard pass. I want to be part of the solution not part of the cancer that is killing the culture.

I know that not all bosses are great and in fact many fall very short (I type this as I look in the mirror) but I challenge you to coach up – help your boss. Or better yet, just over come the A**Hole boss. Refuse to let them break you.

If that doesn’t work, then get the gas and matches ready and just help burn the place down! 

Y Family

Several years ago, I sat with a bunch of young couples in their 30’s who all worked for the Y during their high school and college years. They laughed and I cringed as they reflected on all their hi-jinx and games. A few of them met at the Y and are now married. It seems we are some kind of dating service!

Eventually the conversation turned to gratitude. Several of them shared how important the Y was to their personal development. It gave them confidence. It taught them discipline and built character.

Last week I got a text from a past staff person who was walking his daughter into her first day of Y camp in Charlotte. He shared, “I think I am more excited than she is. We have been singing camp songs for weeks.”

Recently I started putting family pictures of several of the past staff, that have been part of our Y family through the years, up in my office. Several were long time employees and then there are the staff that only stayed a few years.

I put the pictures on the back of my door, so I see them constantly. It serves as a reminder that my opportunity and privilege to lead people has the potential to impact and influence long past the time at the Y. I am not sure that when we hire a part time employee, we think about how that will shape their leadership 20 years in the future. I have said for years that EMPLOYMENT is our number one teen program.

Seeing the pictures reminds me on how much I have been blessed. Blessed to have worked beside some courageous leaders. Blessed to watch people grow into great husbands, wives, fathers or mothers. Blessed to have such wonderful memories of lives changed and people impacted – mainly my life!

One past staff person, even though he hasn’t worked for me for more than 20 years, always text me on Boss’s Day! A clear reminder that we will always be Y Family. (His daughter now works for us as a GWU Student).

Leadership is an incredible privilege, gift and opportunity. And most importantly, leadership is a blessing. #Blessed

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful and committed citizens can change the world. Do you know why? It is the only thing that ever has.”

That's Good, That's Bad

There used to be this skit on the iconic TV Show HEE HAW. It was called “That’s Good, That’s Bad.” The skit would go something like this.

“I went on a plane ride today.” “That’s Good.”

“No That’s Bad. The plane had mechanical issues and started to crash.” “Oh, That’s Bad.”

“No, That’s Good. There was a parachute for me.” “That’s Good”

“No That’s Bad. The parachute didn’t open.” “That’s Bad”

And the skit would continue to go back and forth until it reached a punch line.

Sometimes it feels like life is a constant “That’s Good, That’s Bad.” Monday is a good day and then Tuesday goes sideways and it’s a bad day. Wednesday your team wins a big game and then Thursday the star player gets hurt. Friday you pay off your final credit card bill and celebrate and then Saturday you find out that you need a new AC unit.

“Hey look everybody, I got a promotion and I am the boss.” “That’s Good.”

“Nope, That’s Bad. There are a bunch of people mad and guess what? You’re the Boss so deal with it.” “Oh, That is Bad.”

Age and experience have proven that life is a roller coaster, full of ups and downs. Anticipation, exhilaration, fear – In the end you are thankful that you survived, and you just hope you didn’t pee on yourself. I have also learned that if I look around, my That’s Bads actually pale in comparison to real problems.

My personal challenge is to be equally thankful and grateful in the “That’s Goods and in the That’s Bads.” Virginia’s National Championship Basketball Coach, Tony Bennett, said recently, “As a team we are committed to remain equally Faithful in the wins and in the losses.”

I am learning that what can be the BEST part of my job, can also be the WORST part of my job. What can be the best part of my day can quickly turn into the worst part of my day. What feels like a huge win often balances out with a big loss. But that old sage  Darrell Corder would say to me, “What doesn’t kill you just makes you stronger.” In other words, learn from it, shut up and move on.

And more importantly Give Praise and Be Thankful. THAT’S GOOD.

WHAT MY PEEPS ARE TEACHING ME ABOUT LEADERSHIP

Millennials or Generation Z, I am not sure what you call them. All I know is that working with them is kind of like negotiating with a terrorist – you should never show fear or weakness.

That line always makes me laugh and makes the young people on my staff roll their eyes.

Actually, I like “Hanging” with the young folks. Can I use the term “Hanging?” Does that make me sound old?

You have to worry about stuff like that. Making the wrong gesture, phrase or un-trendy statement will get you ridiculed. For a group that doesn’t like bullying, show them any weakness and they will pounce on you faster than a cheetah on an antelope with sore feet.

I took a few staff to lunch the other day and the XM radio station was playing my 80’s music – the soundtrack to my high school years. They laughed and cackled at the music. They never knew that Chicago and Boston were bands not just major cities. I almost ran off the road when they questioned, “What are the Commodores?”

My goodness, what is the world coming too. I have one goal, teach them about good music!

There are probably many things I could teach them. But as I reflect on our times together, I realize that they have been teaching me. They are so far beyond me at 25 its crazy. And at 25 I knew everything or at least thought I did. #CoachingUp

Life humbled me as it will humble them. One of my father’s friends told me once, that life has a way of bringing you back to reality every 90 days and that has been so true. I’ve learned not to let the highs be too high and the lows be too low.

With these staff, I have never texted so much in my life. I am an email guy but all of a sudden, I catch myself in the middle of a group text. My phone going BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ. Finally, I jump in and text, “how do you do the little picture thingy’s (GIF which I pronounce G I F just to annoy them)?”

Nothing beats a face to face meal where you can just laugh and be real. And I believe that everyone loves the hand written note, but this crowd will text you a thank you or text about a great day in a heart-beat. And I love it! Thank goodness I have learned how to “emoji!” (Is that a verb?) #GetWithItDude

One night I sat holding my silent phone wondering why they weren’t texting me. Are they texting each other and leaving me out on purpose? Had I made them mad? I felt 15 years old again waiting for some girl to call me back.

This crowd has no fear. They want to conquer the world and they probably will. As “old farts” we joke about how they all want to be the boss at 25 without paying their dues, but I would rather have a staff person that I am pulling the reigns back yelling “SLOW DOWN” than trying to drag someone along with me. The smarter ones understand the need for humility. I had one young staff person who applied for another job in his first 30 days on the job. As parents, bosses and mentors, often you have to let people fail. Several years ago, we had a sharp young guy with a bright future in the Y. He left to be an executive of another non-profit. I tried to tell him to be patient, but he would not listen. 12 months later he was out of a job. A bright future extinguished by over confidence and impatience.

On the flip side, I love that their hand goes up high asking for more responsibility or to lead a new initiative. “Hey old man, get out of my way. I will do that for you.” #NoFear

I have found one sure fire way to stoke the fire within the young staff – have fun! Work for them is like the constant 5^th grade field trip. They are always walking the hall ways, “Hey, we’re going to Starbucks, want anything?” “Time for a run on chicken nuggets – want to come with us?” “We are going to work outside in the sun. Its such a beautiful day!”

20 minutes later I will get some random selfie picture of the group playing. And I struggle to get my selfie stick out to send a response – It is just not the same.

A great day is when you can get one to laugh so hard that the milk shake comes out their nose! #FUN

I love this old Tom T Hall song, That’s How I got to Memphis. The song is not about Memphis. Memphis is really if you love wherever you are and whoever you are with – that’s your Memphis. These “Whipper Snappers” are all about family. They bring in strays, they adopt people and they fight to the death for their family. They demand loyalty and if you are loyal to them then they will be loyal to you. I like the family concept because we have to be able to fight and argue and still be family. Often times family is tough and troubled, but it is still family. And in the end, I know I am in the right place at the right time with the right people – My Memphis! #FAMILY

Probably the greatest gift that the young staff have given me is the belief that you can lead with LOVE. I think it is more than just telling a staff that you love them, which I try to do, but it is about showing them. Kind of like learning the “Love Languages” of 30 people. Who needs acts of service, or words of affirmation? I catch myself re-hashing earlier conversations and wondering if I should send the gift card. Who did I forget to ask for lunch? I need to add that to my job description – LOVE YOUR PEOPLE!

“My Cup Runneth Over” from their love. Nothing beats walking in your office and having a sticky note on your lap top. Sometimes I feel like the cool kid when they invite me to lunch. Even if they only invite me because they know I will pay, that is OK by me. #LOVE

Our lives are just a story. I have learned to not only share my story but listen to their story. My dream, my goal, my strategic imperative – however I can describe it – I want to impact the story of their life in a way that somehow gets me a mention in their life’s appendix or footnotes. This “young family” of mine has me re-writing my own story. How grateful I am to be a part of theirs and how awesome it is to share how our stories have blended together.

I hope that a few of them continue to let me feel like I am part of the cool crowd. I know they will continue to inspire me with their passion and love for the mission of our work and for each other. I hope they continue to believe that they can change the world. I believe it. I hope they know that I am proud of them and I wish I could tell them how much I love them!

I think I will text them an EMOJI - BIG HEART! #FISTTOHEART

WHAT YOU HAVE TAUGHT ME

1.   Be Brave

2.   Have Fun

3.   Be Family

4.   Serve with Love

5.   Be a Part of a Bigger Story

The Snap Chitter

Young people.

How can you walk around with ripped up Blue Jeans? And you paid for them like that!

Constantly fidgeting with your phones, texting the friend right beside you.

What the HELL is Venmo and why do I need it? I have a wallet.

What do you mean, “What is a wallet?”

Changing jobs every 18 months. Not a single care in the world. Except that you want to change it!

How are you going to change the world when you have barely lived in it?

You sit around coffee shops drinking Half Caf, De Caf, Herbal Something Mocha Freaking Lattes and playing on the Snap Chitter. Try drinking some harsh Black Coffee in a real mug while eating some eggs and reading a newspaper. Then call me!

And if you say, “What’s a newspaper, I am going to scream.”

The truth is, I am a little jealous.

My parents deny they ever spanked me, but real life is being chased around and beaten with the sizzler race track.

My mom was upset when I told her to throw away the dozen or so trophies and plaques I got growing up. I can’t imagine the award case you will discard someday.

Try asking someone out on a date in the hallway at school or even over the phone.

You cannot even fathom living with 4 guys in a sparsely decorated dorm room and sharing one bathroom. (actually maybe the best 4 years of my life.) Except for being married and having kids of course.

I am jealous though. You have so many skills and such confidence. You don’t seem to be afraid of anything.

Maybe you can sit with me and show me how to do that Venmo thingy? I’m not interested in the Snap Chitter. You teach me a little about technology and I will help you enjoy real music!

I may even let you use my selfie stick!

LOVE STORY

I can’t say that every day is wonderful, but most days are! It doesn’t take long to over look the complaints or the crazy moments when you love your job.

Recently, I was talking with an old friend about our Y careers and we described it as a “Love Story.”

It’s a love story written with weekend text messages from staff, sharing something funny from work or life. It’s in an email from someone sharing the Y’s impact on their life. These moments always remind me that the joy in my job is where hope, happiness and humanity intersect.

It’s a love story written in moments that echo a bigger story, like when just the right person appears at our side at just the right time. Recently I read that coincidences are just God’s way of making things happen anonymously.

It’s a love story written in memories, like that afternoon when you get a gift so unbelievable, so fantastic that you are speechless. Afterwards, you can almost hear God whisper that he’s in charge – in the bad times and in the good times.

All the staff retreats, conferences, meetings and memories of the Y, weave themselves together to tell a love story like no other, the story of how you think the agreement with God is to help you so you can help others. When all along it’s you who is being helped. We think we’re bringing people closer to God when actually, he is inching closer to us.

I wish everybody had a love story like mine. I pray that wherever you are on your Y journey, whatever the longing of your heart may be, whatever mess you find yourself in – God has brought you to the Y to create a love story. If you let him, he will reveal himself THROUGH you and he will let you know that YOU are loved!

Honor, Stewardship, Trust

"A President must grace and honor the office, the highest and most powerful office in the world. Our President must honor not just the office, but the people that office serves. 

The President must serve this country steadfastly and laudably.  

In the end the presidency is more than a simple catalog of policies pursued, crises weathered, battles lost or won.  

It's a stewardship and a sacred trust. It’s a commitment to sacrifice every fiber of your being, every thought, every moment, and everything in service to your nation. 

Despite the political and philosophical differences in our country, the President who does this well, deserves nothing less than our humble appreciation and heartfelt gratitude.

  

Our President must strive to be worthy of the example of the great men who have gone before.  Presidents walk in the giant footsteps of Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln and more.  They have magnificent legacies to uphold.  I pray that our President aspires to their example, and will daily make that sacrifice."

Arnie Vinick - Fictional Character and Presidential Candidate on the West Wing

Think Small

In YMCA circles, most discussions center around size. We constantly measure ourselves versus some ambiguous goal of what and how other people are doing.

·         How big is your budget?

·         How much money did you raise?

·         What do you do annually in sales?

·         How much do you make?

In my situation they usually are asking, “Why do you still have an iPhone 5?”

There is this underlying culture that only the work from the largest Y’s is the greatest or most important work. If an idea didn’t originate in Los Angeles, New York, Houston, Charlotte, etc. it really is not worthy of discussion.

Culturally we are obsessed with bigger or more prestige. Our dreams and sometimes our excuses get stuck in the “If Only” mode.

We find ourselves looking at what we think are bigger and greener pastures. Lifeguards say, “If only I was the Aquatics Director, I would make a difference.” The Aquatics Director says, “If only I was the Sr Program Director, I would make a difference.” The Sr. Program Director says, “If only I was the Executive of the branch, I would make a difference.” And the Executive says, “If only I was the CEO, I’d make a difference.”

We wallow around in what we don’t have because our town is poor; Our budgets are small; Someone else has the authority.

“If only I worked for one of those rich Y’s”

We live in a world of deficit thinking.

But experience has proven to me that bigger is not better and greener is not always greener!

I love this poem by Meade McGuire.

Father, where shall I work today? And my love flowed warm and free. 
Then He pointed out a tiny spot And said, “Tend that for me.” 
I answered quickly, “Oh no; not that! Why, no one would ever see, 
No matter how well my work was done; Not that little place for me.” 
And the word He spoke, it was not stern; He answered me tenderly: 
“Ah, little one, search that heart of thine. Art thou working for them or for me? 
Nazareth was a little place, And so was Galilee.” 

John Maxwell says, “the importance of your work is not about size, prestige or power. The importance is based on How you do your job and Why you do your job.” He shares three points:

1.   If you give your best in obscurity, God will recognize it. Others may not but God will.

2.   If you give your best in small things, God will give you bigger things.

3.   If you give your best with consistency, God will give you courage.

“THINK SMALL – REMEMBER the Mustard Seed”

Ruby

Ruby was country ham and warm biscuits. She was fresh cut flowers and sweet corn. She was thick tomato sandwiches that you had to eat over the sink. She was crowded and loud kitchens that were filled with smiles and laughter. She was family, she was friends and she was faith.

I think that is the culture of the YMCA Branch named in her honor. A branch where everyone is welcome and everyone is treated like family. We celebrate the simple things in life which bring us so much joy. The Ruby, as we affectionately call the branch, has no hallways or walls. The open floor plan creates a constant hum of talking, balls bouncing, and treadmills running.

Kind of like her kitchen. All of this energy and activity grounded on a commitment to our faith and the charge to “Love Our Neighbors As Ourselves.”

Yesterday as I watched her wonderful family and how proud they are and how strong they are all trying to be, I thought about how the best gift that we can give to Ruby is to acknowledge that our hearts are breaking and to lean on each other and let our hearts break together. 

Then we need to get back into that kitchen and out in that garden and spend the rest of our lives sharing the peace, the love and the joy that she shared daily.

Next Time - A Note to Graduates

I recently had someone say, “Let’s have a windshield relationship, not a rear-view mirror relationship.” And that is my advice to every graduating high school senior.

When you think about it, CHANGE is one of the few constants in our lives. The reality of life is that we are in a constant state of flux and motion. From our first words spoken to the date where we glance out at the audience with diploma in hand, our lives have been an ebb and flow “Good-Bye” and “Hello.”

Good-Bye is often the first words taught to a child as they learn to waive at a parent going to work or a grand-parent leaving after a visit. But soon after, Hello became part of the new vocabulary. Thank goodness Hello often follows Good Bye. Good Bye Elementary School – Hello Middle School. Good Bye Middle School - Hello High School. Good Bye High School and Hello…Life.

This is where I think the wind shield metaphor resonates with me. If I could give the graduates some advice I would say this – Don’t use the words “If only.” “If only I would have studied harder. If only I would have asked her out. If only I would have listened to my parents. If only I would have said no to my friends.” When you get stuck into a world of “If Only,” that means you are stuck in the rear-view mirror. Then you allow for excuses and negativity to dictate your future success and failure.

Instead I would use the word “Next Time.” Next time I will study harder. Next time I will make sure I ask her out. Next time I will listen to my parents. Next time I will say no to my friends. Focusing on what to do next time is deciding to clear a path for a different future.

Every exit is also an entrance. You never walk out of one thing without walking into something else. You will walk away from high school saying goodbye to great friends, wonderful teachers and a special time in your life. But tomorrow awaits you, full of possibilities and hope. Hello future, next time is going to be awesome.

5 Things

When did I become the “OLD GUY” in the room? It wasn’t long ago that I was the young guy, but I blinked and suddenly I feel like I am one of the two old guys on the Muppet Show constantly making snarky comments.

A few weeks ago, a couple of us old guys were talking about the absence of Young YMCA Superstars. Don’t get me wrong, there are a few out there, just not as many knocking on the doors. As we compared notes, I came away with 5 Things That Young Super Stars have that Sets Them Apart.

1.       They Smile and Laugh: Work is fun to them and when they are at work, people gravitate to them because they give off such great energy.

2.       They Put Mission First: They know the mission of the Y and it matches clearly with their personal values. They take pride in helping people meet their goals and just making our community better.

3.       They Constantly Learn: I notice that in staff meetings, staff retreats, learning environments and at trainings, they take great notes and always return trying to implement something new and improved.

4.       They Build Trust: Trust is built by being accountable to everyone. Their work is completed on time, they are present at work and go beyond all expectations and they look for more responsibility.

5.       They Over Communicate: “It ain’t bragging if you back it up.” They are diligent about letting you know their successes and are not scared away from acknowledging failures.

If you are looking for the next leader or if you are wanting to be the next leader - I would take a look at these 5 Things. 

7 Qualities of the Best Staff

Several years ago, I circled up all the Executives and had them list their best staff. I asked them, “If you graded all of your staff on a scale of 1-10, who would you give a 9 or a 10?”

Out of 300 staff, we had about 15% that we would give a 9 or a 10. If you research, that is fairly standard. Statistically, 15% of your team are the high performers and 15% of your team should probably be shown the door. The other 70% are at varying degrees of average.

I brought our 9's and 10's together in several focus groups and we talked about why they were better. I was hoping that we could “bottle up” their spirit and hopefully move our number to 20% or 25%.

A funny thing evolved from the focus groups. They all said the same thing. It was uncanny how the traits of a “10 Lifeguard” were the same traits of a “10 Welcome Center Staff.” These 45 staff came up with the 7 Qualities of the Best Staff.

1.       Serve Others First: Their job was all about the members and participants. They help members, their peers, their bosses, etc. They are overly excited about people hitting goals and are innately aware of when members are absent.

2.       Act with Integrity: They go out of their way to make sure that every transaction is clean and transparent. When they say they will follow up, they follow up. They show up for work on time and are somewhat OCD about their timeclock management.

3.       Be a Part of the Team: The best staff know the importance of staff meetings, changing shifts with their peers, and helping in other departments on special events. These are the staff that take extraordinary pride in recognizing others for great work.

4.       Create New Ideas: When they visit other Y’s they always bring back ideas. The best staff suggest new and innovative ways to do their jobs.

5.       Be an Expert at the Job: It is critical to stay up on the latest skills and techniques of their job. You can see them practice and/or hungry to learn.

6.       Build Relationships: They know everyone’s name, birthday and special life event. They give these over the top welcomes. They are the staff that get the hugs. These are the staff that you see cornered up listening to a member’s story.

7.       Take Initiative: They don’t wait for a boss to say do something. They just do it.

How do you stack up?

GREAT LOVE SONGS

Three signs that I am getting old. First, a few weeks back I saw someone messing with my neighbor’s car while he was gone so I called the police. It turned out to be his friend playing a joke on him. My daughter Ryanne just laughed and said “Old Man!” Second, Saturday mornings are spent with a cup of coffee and watching my bird feeders and yelling at the squirrels. And third, when I drive I listen to talk radio.

I am not quite bad enough to be yelling at the kids to get out of my yard yet, but I may be getting close.

While driving recently, the talk radio show had a discussion on the best love songs. That is a hard question. Some songs remind you of that slow dance in middle school when you wanted the world to stop spinning and time stand still because it couldn’t get any more perfect. Kind of the Winnie Cooper and Kevin Arnold moment.

Then there is one of those dates in high school when the song comes on while you sit in her drive way and try and think of how you’re going to kiss her good night. When it happens and you get back to your car, and you really aren’t sure how you actually drive home.

Some songs bring back the memory of rewinding the cassette and playing that song over and over. You would just take roads and detours so you could play the song one more time.

And the songs that are some remote song on an album that elicit a sweet memory with your wife and only mean something to you and your bride. When it pops up on your play list the kids wonder why you start holding hands.

With all that, I wanted to list my top five (impossible) and then top ten (too difficult). So I settled on a top 40 (Too Many)…… but today I will share my top 20. Do you have any of the same?

20.   My Funny Valentine – Frank Sinatra

19.   One Hundred Ways – James Ingram

18.   The Closer I Get To You – Roberta Flack

17.   All of Me – John Legend

16.   Too Hot – Kool and the Gang

15.   After the Love is Gone – Earth Wind and Fire

14.   The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face – Roberta Flack

13.   God Only Knows – The Beach Boys

12.   You’re the First, The Last, My Everything – Barry White

11.   Back at One – Brian McKnight

10.   Let’s Get It On – Marvin Gaye

9.       Just Once – James Ingram

8.       The Way You Look Tonight – Tony Bennett

7.       You Don’t Know Me – Michael McDonald

6.       Your Song – Elton John

5.       Here and Now – Luther Vandross

4.       Endless Love – Luther Vandross / Lionel Ritchie

3.       Have I told You Lately – Van Morrison

2.       Always and Forever – Heatwave

1.       Our Love – Michael McDonald

Mr. Poole

Mr. Poole died this week. For the past 30-years he’s told me to call him Bill, but he will forever be Mr. Poole.

Between the ages of 14 and 20, the Poole house was my home away from home. I probably spent the night there at least 30 times a year. I am thankful he never charged me and the entire crew for eating and drinking him out of house and home!

One weekend, he confronted our group about some missing Chivas Regal. I told him I didn’t “Know Nothing About No Buick Regal.” It took a while for him to let me live it down.

I also had a Bassett Hound who would wander the neighborhood and knock over trash cans. One morning early he found my dog with her collar stuck on the post that rolls the cans out to the road. He gently helped my dog loose and then kicked over the trash can for her and said, “Have at it!”

One thing I am so thankful to Bill Poole for is my love of Jazz music and Frank Sinatra. I guess I was about 15 years old when I walked in the house and he was playing Frank Sinatra and his Concert for the Americas. I may have been the only 16-year-old driving around with cassettes of Frank Sinatra, Earl Klugh, Grover Washington, Jr., Stanley Clark and George Duke. Now that I think of it, that may explain my dating history or lack thereof.

When I look back on my teenage years I am thankful for a wonderful neighborhood (Holly Tree), back yard football, hide and seek, riding my bike everywhere, learning to drive, dozens of friends, first kisses, broken hearts, big apologies, too many of William’s car accidents to count and being raised by a group of adults that weren’t my parents but then again were! Know what I mean?

Thanks Mr. Poole! ……..Bill.

The Yah-Yah Club

A few years back I took our Y Executive team on a bench marking trip to visit a vendor who has been recognized multiple times for their work place environment.

 
One of the funny things that we learned about their culture is they have this principle rule around the office called “No Yah-Yah.” It doesn’t sound like the Yah-Yah from the Sisterhood but more nasaly. (Sounds like ant) Say it to yourself……More nasal….perfect…No Yah-Yah!

It just means that you don’t complain and whine all the time. I recently read a phrase and shared in our staff training to “leave the drama with your mama!” It is the same principle.

We all have those people in our lives that are just negative. They are the naysayers. They sound like Charlie Brown in that everything that happens in their lives is bad. And when you have a story, they always trump it with a negative comment. They kill culture in your office. They destroy family gatherings, dinner parties, Sunday school, PTA, youth sports, yard work, nap time, car rides…you name it they stomp it into the ground. They create what a recent article in Men’s Health magazine calls “the Bitch Spiral.”

The people that bother me the most are the ones that can come up with 10 ways and idea want work instead of just one way that it can. Can’t never could and won’t never will!

Have you ever noticed that those people are never successful? I mean, the leaders in our world are never the cynics. Oh, you will get the occasional complaint or back to reality comment, but for the most part, great leaders are positive people. Think about it. Name a successful person that is negative all of the time. You can’t do it. Great leaders have to have the belief that they will succeed no matter the circumstances and that usually inspires other leaders around them.

I think of people like Cubs Manager Joe Madden, Bono, Steve Jobs, Tom Hanks and Bill Gates as leaders who have passion for their jobs and an undeniable belief in themselves and the mission of their work. That is what inspires and motivates our peers, the people we lead and even those that lead us.

Make a pact that tomorrow at work, at home, at school or even in the back yard talking to your neighbor, whenever they start the bitch spiral, you spiral back. Be the better person and above the fray!

Remember, We “No Yah-Yah” around here!

GRACE and TRUTH

I spent the day with a wonderful elementary school principal who leads the most challenging school in our community. Filled with kids, most whose home life is lacking. And that is describing it politely. Most of these kids live in an environment that we wouldn’t wish on our worst enemy. Her stories haunted me last night, wondering what I would do if I were the principal.

I bounced back and forth, “Kick them out. Send them home. Zero tolerance.”

“But why would you send them back to the living hell that will just make their behavior worse?”

“Well, then call the law on the parents.”

“That mom is just parenting how she was parented. She doesn’t know any better. She doesn’t know how to get out of her situation nor does she have the emotional intelligence to help herself.”

“Well then let’s get the state involved and let’s remove the kids from the home?”

And that argument would play over and over in my head. This struggle between my heart and head about GRACE and TRUTH. I struggled with this tension in my heart.

Often I want to push my faith and my heart in one direction or the other. Andy Stanley describes at as, “We like the verses about GRACE when it’s about me and we like the verses about TRUTH when it’s about someone else.”

The TRUTH makes me want to say that you’re accountable, but GRACE makes me say you’re forgiven.

GRACE tells me to say you will be fine, but TRUTH make me say yes, but you are broken.

TRUTH says you must work on it, but GRACE says God loves you.

If we as a community, especially a faith based community, are going to address the generational poverty around us, we are going to have to balance the tension between GRACE and TRUTH. We can’t just play one card or the other, it must be both.

John, who was an eye witness to Jesus, tells us that Jesus was full of GRACE and TRUTH. “For the law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.” John 1:17.

The issues facing this school, this neighborhood, our community……we will not fully address the potential for transformation until we balance both TRUTH and GRACE. 

Be Salt and Light.

VERBAL CLICK BAIT - Part 1

One of my favorite Seinfeld episodes is the one where after being heckled at the comedy club, he then goes to the ladies’ place of work and heckles her until she runs out of her office crying. I think social media would change tremendously if this would happen in real-life.

I love sports and I think it would be the sweetest revenge for a coach to walk on the set of ESPN and heckle one of the pundits. Can’t you see the former LSU coach, Les Miles, walking onto the live set one day and getting on someone like Paul Finebaum?

“Hey Paul, you were 3 – 5 last week in picking games, do you not watch any game film?”

“When did you last play football? Was it flag football in middle school?”

“What qualifies you to talk about who should be hired and fired? Have you ever employed anyone?”

“Aren’t you most famous for a lunatic woman that called into your radio show?”

“You really do have a face for radio.”

“I just don’t get it. You are picking less than 50% of the weekly games correct and you have absolutely no background in football. I can tell you five people who would be better on this show than you.”

And then that wormy looking Amway Salesman Finebaum would run off the set crying.

Now that’s a show worth producing, A Coaches Time to Evaluate the Pundits.

I think some of these coaches on the hot seat ought to designate some grad assistant to evaluate everything these guys say on TV. They then can come up with the ammunition and go after these TV people.

Yet the TV people that just 2^nd guess and give the verbal click bait (soundbites that create hits to their twitter feed) have a short shelf life. They eventually get banished to anonymity along with Bill Simmons, Colin Cowherd, and Skip Bayless.

Straight from the Rabbi

It is funny how God puts people in our lives just at the right time. I was having coffee recently with a friend of mine who is Jewish. We were discussing of course our anxiety with the cultural problems our society is facing and the challenges around creating open and honest dialogue.

During our talk, my friend said, “Let me tell you a Midrash.” 

“A Midrash,” I replied? “Isn’t that something that I need to get a prescription for?” 

He just laughed. So my friend (I now call him my Rabbi) taught me a new word. A Midrash is a form of storytelling that explores ethics and values in biblical text. 

The story he told was..... 

“A group of workers is asked to do something quite difficult and complicated. 

They protest, ‘the day is short’; ‘the work is hard’; ‘the project is too big’; ‘we do not have the right tools’; ‘and, anyway, we are too tired’; ‘we will never finish this job!’ 

Their teacher replies, ‘it is not for you to finish the task, but…you must start the task.”

We will never solve the problems of tomorrow unless we start on them today. Are you ready? I am, and that is your Midrash for the day. Straight from the Rabbi!

Let's get to work. God Bless and Shalom!