A Fight Between My Heart and My Head

Yesterday Ryanne came to me while I was working out and said, “Can we talk without you getting mad?” “Sure,” my heart said and then my mind chimed in, “Did you wreck your car?”

“No, but if now is not a good time we can talk later,” she added. “Honey, just spit it out,” smiled my heart. “I can’t kill you here, because there are too many witnesses,” laughed the brain.

Well the short story is that after she came out of volleyball camp, a small puppy came up to her and got under her car. An obviously neglected puppy, Ryanne found something to give it water in and the puppy just collapsed in her arms. It then somehow miraculously crawled into her car and managed to convince her to drive it home.

“Can we keep it dad? I named her Lucy. She is mostly Black Lab but she is a mutt. I am taking her to the vet tomorrow and I’ll pay for everything. This can be my dog and I will look after it. Can I keep her dad, can I please?”



Funny thing about heart and head arguments, very rarely is there a winner. But here is how the argument unfolded.

Heart: Lucy that is a cute name

Head: Give it a few months and then she will become Lucifer

Heart: If it has some Black Lab then the dog must be smart

Head: No telling the inbred gene pool this dog has spawned from. Don’t be surprised if it has a third ear.

Heart: But that puppy breath is so sweet.

Head: Puppy breath, don’t get the dog near your mouth, it probably has parvo.

Heart: I bet she’s athletic; she would be cool to be your running and hiking buddy

Head: Oh, that’s really fair to 14 year old Maxine and crazy hound dog Ellie

Heart: Max and Ellie will just love this puppy

Head: The puppy will drive old Max crazy and Crazy Ellie might eat it whole

Heart: Ryanne will be a good dog owner

Head: Wake up stupid. She’s going away to college in a year and you will be the dog owner

Heart: Cute, Cute, Cute, Cute, And Cute!

Head: One word – Hole Digger!

Heart: That’s two words

Head: You’re an idiot

Heart: Takes one to know one

Head: Your Mama

Heart: Your Daddy!


See what I mean? Who wins? Anybody want a dog? She’s a cutie!

Paternal Instinct

Ryanne has become quite the runner. She made the State Championship in Cross Country this Fall and recently made the state Championships in the 1600 meters. This is pretty amazing considering she doesn't even train.
I am new to all of this track stuff but I have been amazed at the organization of the events. It runs like clock work and utilizes dozens of volunteers that work in concert around the track.

Two weeks ago we were at the Regionals. It was a time when none of the students from Ryanne's school were running so I was kind of half paying attention. I heard the announcement of the 4x200 event and I heard the gun go off. I noticed that Robbinsville jumped out to an early lead. Robbinsville is at the end of the world. Actually you first go to the end of the world and then you go two more miles down a curvy road to get to Robbinsville. They have some incredible runners. I guess when you train in those deep mountains, you can run anywhere.

By the first hand off Robbinsville had a 10 yard lead and the second runner started to expand the lead. By the time the third runner took the baton, she had a 20 yard lead and when the final runner hit the home stretch she was a good 25 yards ahead.

But then a funny thing happened. This little girl from Murphy High School looked like she had been shot out of a cannon and she started to walk the 4th Robbinsville runner down. The entire bleachers stood and screamed and even though she didn't look back she could feel the pressure of the Murphy runner closing fast. Maybe it was her parents on the fence screaming to go faster, maybe it was her coach imploring her to finish strong, maybe it was her own body trying to push to speeds she wasn't used to, but what ever it was, it got her off balance and she took a face plant 10 feet from the finish line. Not 10 yards and not 10 steps but 10 feet. Right in front of me.

I screamed NOOOOOO, and I jumped down the bleachers. I was literally almost ready to jump the small fence the separated the fans from the track. My paternal instinct wanted to help this young girl. She laid there sobbing as a hush went over the field. All 7 other runners crossed the finish line. She still stayed down and was crying. I heard her dad say, "Get up sweet heart and finish." He didn't say it in a kind of jack ass tone, but in a loving fatherly tone.

I applauded her as she got up and I even encouraged her as she walked across the finish line.

Ryanne came up to me and said, "Did you see that?"

"Of course I saw that," I replied. "I am going over to talk to her."

"Stay out of it dad."

"No, No. I just want to encourage her and make sure she is OK"

"Dad, please stay out of it. Besides, what would you say?"

"Well I want to tell her to keep her head up."

Ryanne looked at me with this kind of smirk and said, "Well since she fell on her face, she might not find that too comforting."

"Shut up, you know what I mean."

I didn't go over and talk to her. But if I would have I would have told her that if that was the worst thing to happen in your life, then life for you will be pretty good. Forever she has a story to tell about overcoming adversity. There are thousands of young girls she can inspire with a story of how she handled the fall.

10 feet from the finish line and she takes a "header." I hate to tell you this kids, but that seems like it happens twice a week for the rest of your life. I think it's God's quirky sense of humor, and it's just his way of telling us that he is control. Get up and finish and let's move on to the next event.

HUGGIES

Friday I was visited by an old friend. Jack used to work for me and it had been over a year since we had seen each other. When he walked in my office he stuck out his hand for me to shake, but I said, “Come on now, we hug in this family.” We hugged like long lost brothers.

Hugging in the work place can be awkward, especially with people you see every day. It is nothing to hug that friend that you have not seen in a long time. In the Y business, so many of these people are like family so conferences are like family reunions. But how do you hug the person you see all the time? I have had a couple of female staff that worked for me for so long that hugs were second nature. On special occasions I would even receive a peck on the cheek.

I would have to catch myself though. The Corders have a bad habit, passed down from my grandfather Gaither Corder, of patting butts! Almost every time I hug April I give her a little tap on the derriere. I am so afraid that out of instinct I will do that unexpectedly to a board member. That will be a doozy to explain.

Hugs are the best part of work. When I was a program director, it was awesome to be in the grocery store and have some kid come up and hug you. Now, when I walk through Harris Teeter the hug may come from a little old lady! That is still awesome.

I have been in some pretty emotional meetings that when they ended, we have just hugged it out. Funerals, births of babies, graduations and just life crises all warrant the big bear hug.

I don’t want you to think that I am some creepy guy always lurking around corners ready to pounce on you. Often when I walk through the Y, I just give a hand slap, fist bump, pat on the back, punch in the arm and sometimes a hip check. Research shows, that a touch lowers blood pressure, reduces stress, creates trust and can even heal. That is not why I do it. I hug and pat and slap because I want to say I appreciate you and I like having you around!

So the next time you see me at the Harris Teeter, church, the Y or even out on the golf course, come up to me and say, “Hey, we hug in this family.” Maybe even a peck on the cheek would be nice!

Just Friend Me....I Can't Take the Rejection

Facebook makes me flash back to being 16 again.


Just a few months ago I watched this girl I went to high school with join Facebook and start “friending” everyone…..except me. What did I do wrong? We were friends back then I think? Did she not remember me? Do I have internet bad breath? Finally after a month, I broke down and “friended” her. And guess what? She accepted.

I worried at first that maybe she gave me the charity “friend.” I actually got a little angry and sent her a message, “What is up with waiting 30 days to friend me?”

In all essence, I was 16 again. 30 years later and uncountable generations of technology and I am stressing over whether someone clicks a button on their Facebook page.

Being 16 today and talking to girls is a breeze compared to 1980. They can text, IM, and Facebook. It is not nearly as difficult as say Kevin Arnold passing a love note to Winnie Cooper.

I remember being 16 and watching some girl walk the halls at Mauldin High School. Basically looking like I had a restraining order against me by staying 50 feet away at all times. Hoping that maybe at lunch or in a class she will smile at me. The job of every love sick 16 year old boy was to strategically manufacture some organized encounter that she thinks is completely random.

Back in 1980 my bedroom was like the War room at the White House. I had charts and graphs. Class schedules of about 23 girls and rudimentary drawings of their neighborhoods. Me and my friends were like the Joint Chiefs of Staff!

Here is how I asked out a girl at 16. First I would stand beside the phone for about 10 minutes. Then I would dial 3 numbers and hang up. 5 numbers and hang up. 7 numbers and get one ring…hang up. This is before caller id thank God. Then after another 20 minutes of agony I would let it ring a few times and when someone answered…….. I would hang up.

I’m getting nauseous just thinking about it.

My 17 year old daughter is navigating the dating scene and my 14 year old son is just navigating being cool! I wouldn’t trade places with them for any amount of money.

It is a miracle I ever got married. Now that I think about it, April asked me out first.