I did it so I could marry my best friend and the love of his life, who was his live in companion of more than a decade. She would tell people, “I have been raising three kids for the past decade with this man. I don’t need much more to prove that we are married.” It seemed though that after a few years of her battling cancer, a formal wedding was just the thing that she wanted, and performing the wedding like the character Joey on Friends is one of the great joys of my life.
Now I am afraid that any day now I will be called to do her funeral. Hospice has been called in and the family will play this waiting game. Trying to soak in every ounce of love this woman has before she dies.
I don’t understand the randomness of cancer. I can’t remember young people getting cancer with such frequency like I see now. Maybe it is just a sign of my aging.
I have watched friends take this on with incredible strength and perseverance. I am not sure that I could show the same dogged determination. Fighting for just memories. Trying to throw out specks of love that your children will take with them forever. One friend said, "I have the easy part; I will die and go to heaven. My husband has to stay and pick up the pieces with our children.”
Tonight I will just hug my children a little tighter. Stare at them longer and hope that is some small way I can make a memory. I will stare across the room at my wife and just pray that she understands that she can’t measure my love and admiration for her.
Tonight, pray for all the families that are traveling that crazy road that cancer creates. We might not know the right things to say, but our prayers can never be misunderstood.
