April 30, 2008

I wrote this in 2004

My parents used to say the dumbest things. I remember when my dad would yell at me and my brothers, while we were in the car, “Don’t make me pull this car over!” We would just look at each other and laugh. “Dad you’re not gonna pull the car over. You’re trying to beat last year’s trip time!”

Or my mom would say, “Who do you think you are?” I would want to yell back, “Mom, Do I need a name tag? I’m Cam, your son!”

I love it when a parent says, “If you fall out of that tree and break your leg, don’t come running to me!”

I heard Mike Breaux, a Pastor at Willow Creek Community Church, mention that he wondered if Joseph ever said to Jesus when Jesus would leave the back door open, “Boy, were you born in a barn.” “Well yea, I was actually,” Jesus would laugh.

Parents really do say some stupid things. Like when a parent says, “You are just worthless.” “Why aren’t you more like your brother?” “I’ve never seen anyone as stupid as you.” “You’re no good.” “What did I do to deserve you?”

Parents do say some stupid things.

I love little league baseball, and your Y has a great baseball program. Over 1000 kids play every spring and another 500 kids play fall baseball. There is something basic and good about youth baseball. This summer during the Y Coach Pitch league, my son Brooks stood on second base with his glove on his head striking the Karate kid pose! You just have to laugh at that. That is how he garnered the nickname “Mr. Miyagi.”

But baseball parents have a reputation as some of the worst. Early in my Y career I was watching a game with a dad, when the dad said, “I wanted to have a ball player, but it looks like I’ve raised a sissy.” Parents say some stupid things. I just cringed when I heard him say that. I wish I would have had enough guts to say, “You didn’t raise a sissy. You have a raised a beautiful, funny, articulate, smart and inquisitive kid who not only loves life, but for some odd reason he loves you!”

I hope as parents we can start saying things like, “I’m proud of you.” “Way to go.” “You are good.” “I love you.” Kids need building up. They get beat down and degraded enough everywhere else in their life. My personal challenge as a parent is to every day communicate to my kids that even if they lined up all of the children from around the world, I would pick them.

David Chadwick, who led our prayer breakfast a few years ago said it like this, “By the example of how I am parenting my kids today, I am also parenting my grandkids and great grand kids.” Whether your children are infants or fully grown adults with their own children, you still need to set the example. Your Y phrases it as Developing Assets in your kids.

I love this poem by Mary Korzan.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you feed a stray cat, and I thought it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me, and I knew that little things are special things.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I heard you say a prayer, and I believed there is a God I could always talk to.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I felt you kiss me good night, and I felt loved.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it’s all right to cry.”

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I looked…and wanted to say thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn’t looking.

April 13, 2008

Read My Letter to the Editor of Sports Illustrated

I bet you think it concerns the swim suit issue but that will be another letter!

Dear Editor,

I couldn’t help but be inspired by the Lee Elder story. All of golf owes Mr. Elder a huge debt of gratitude. In 2006, Paul and Margaret Porter donated a wonderful 18 hole golf course to our YMCA. Shortly before Mr. Porter’s death in 2007, he and I stood out front of the Club House and watched a dozen African American girls from the YMCA Girls Club hit off the driving range. They were part of the Y’s First Tee program. He told me that watching those kids made him proud. I am positive that these young girls are the direct beneficiary of the bravery of people like Lee Elder. I get excited thinking that in the decades to come, the combination of the values taught by our First Tee program, the wonderful golf course from the Porters and the opportunity created by people like Lee Elder will allow these young girls to possibly open the wonderful sport of golf to other minorities. Lee Elder’s trailblazing will ripple on for generations to come.

Look for it to hopefully show up in future issues.

April 5, 2008

My Fab 5 Movies

1. Brian Song - Everyone remembers this story of one of the first roommates of different color in the NFL. It is a wonderful movie about Gayle Sayers and Brian Piccolo and how their friendship developed in the face of Brian Piccolo’s cancer fight. And there is not a man in the world that doesn’t get misty when that music plays. Da Da Da Da Da…. “I need to go get some duct tape.” There is something powerful about Best Friends.

Do you have a best friend? Do you have that friend who keeps you accountable? Its funny, Brian Piccolo and Gayle Sayers were competing for the same position. The same job. Yet they became “brothers.” You know when the relationship took the turn? It happened when Gayle Sayers hurt his knee and when Sayers got home from the hospital, Piccolo had set up a rehab station in Gayle Sayer’s basement. Piccolo said when he won the position battle he wanted Sayers at 100%. And they trained together. A best friend saddles up beside you in times of crisis. Just as Sayers did to Piccolo when he fought cancer.

2. Rudy – Most of you know that I love Notre Dame, so I can’t share movies without talking about Rudy. My favorite scene is when he sees that he will not dress for the final game so he quits and his friend, the maintenance man, talks him into going back and all the players clap for him as he comes to the practice field. But even better than that is when the seniors all walk into the coaches office, lay down their uniforms and say, “I want Rudy to play in my place.” “You’re our captain and an All-American, Act like it.” “I think I am coach.”

If you have never played team sports then you have really missed out some great learning’s. Like in Rudy, do you model that teamwork around the office, in the neighborhood, in your church? Are you ready to lay down your uniform, your position, and your success so your teammate can have the honor? Are you modeling that authentic Christ like relationship to those people around you?

3. Ice Age - The cartoon story of the journey of a Wooly Mammoth, Saber Tooth Tiger and a Three Toed Sloth, and a baby. The three animals are risking their lives to return the baby who ironically will grow up to hunt them. And the Saber Tooth Tiger is really just playing along until he can kill them all. My favorite scene is after the Wooly Mammoth saves the Tiger from falling in this volcano the Tiger asks, “Why did you do that.” And the Mammoth replied, “That is what you do for a member of the herd.”

The human mind is hard wired to want relationships. I have been reading a few books this past year. One is called “Bowling Alone” by Robert Putnam. The entire focus on the research of this Harvard Professor is how we want deep and meaningful relationships yet we are less engaged with neighbors, co-workers, and even family than we were 30 years ago and we continue in a downward spiral. His research even proves that people with a poor diet but in a supportive group dynamic and stronger health gains than those with a good diet and working individually. I like to characterize this by saying, “It is better to eat Krispy Kremes with friends than broccoli alone.”

Putnam also states that connecting to a different race is called bridging social capital. This bridging is very difficult and out of the norm. We have always been taught by our grandmothers that Birds of a feather flock together so it is easy to focus on relationships with people like us, which is called bonding social capital. But we need to be like Sayers and Piccolo, like the Mammoth, the Tiger and the Sloth. Our communities will succeed when we bridge the gaps between us. And how to conquer that gap is taught very explicitly through Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.

4. Forrest Gump – I am a little embarrassed to say this but I loved the movie. All of the subtleties and era specific pictures, but I especially loved the scene where he is talking to Jenny, the girl he has always loved and he tells her about the beauty of the Sunset as he ran through the desert, and the way the reflection of the Rocky Mountains looked on a this lake at sunrise, and the way the stars looked on a clear night when he was in Viet Nam. Jenny looked up at him and says that she wished she would have been with him, and Gump says, “You were.”

Have you ever loved someone so much that you took them in your heart everywhere?

Man I have written about too many mushy movies I might get kicked out of the Man Club. I could have shared Brave Heart and William Wallace challenging his army that “All men die, but very few rarely ever live.”

Or the Magnificent Seven when the 7 gun fighters go protect the small village in Mexico. I love it when James Coburn straps his pistol to his leg and says “no body throws my guns on the ground and tells me to run.” Man I stand up and get Brooks’ gun and cowboy hat on and I am ready to ride off with them.

And finally
5. Dreamer – When this movie came out my daughter Ryanne and I went to see this it. The little girl writes a story for school about a king (her father) and a castle (the barn) and their horse. And the story seems to be about how the re-training of this injured horse brings together a father and his young daughter. And late in the trailer the father reads the story. The daughter says, "it’s a stupid story about a stupid king." And Kurt Russell says, "I like the stupid King" and the girl responds, "I love the Stupid King." Right there in the movie theater I just busted out crying and grabbed Ryanne and she’s about punched me in the nose.