December 14, 2016

The Yah-Yah Club

A few years back I took our Y Executive team on a bench marking trip to visit a vendor who has been recognized multiple times for their work place environment.

 
One of the funny things that we learned about their culture is they have this principle rule around the office called “No Yah-Yah.” It doesn’t sound like the Yah-Yah from the Sisterhood but more nasaly. (Sounds like ant) Say it to yourself……More nasal….perfect…No Yah-Yah!

It just means that you don’t complain and whine all the time. I recently read a phrase and shared in our staff training to “leave the drama with your mama!” It is the same principle.

We all have those people in our lives that are just negative. They are the naysayers. They sound like Charlie Brown in that everything that happens in their lives is bad. And when you have a story, they always trump it with a negative comment. They kill culture in your office. They destroy family gatherings, dinner parties, Sunday school, PTA, youth sports, yard work, nap time, car rides…you name it they stomp it into the ground. They create what a recent article in Men’s Health magazine calls “the Bitch Spiral.”

The people that bother me the most are the ones that can come up with 10 ways and idea want work instead of just one way that it can. Can’t never could and won’t never will!

Have you ever noticed that those people are never successful? I mean, the leaders in our world are never the cynics. Oh, you will get the occasional complaint or back to reality comment, but for the most part, great leaders are positive people. Think about it. Name a successful person that is negative all of the time. You can’t do it. Great leaders have to have the belief that they will succeed no matter the circumstances and that usually inspires other leaders around them.

I think of people like Cubs Manager Joe Madden, Bono, Steve Jobs, Tom Hanks and Bill Gates as leaders who have passion for their jobs and an undeniable belief in themselves and the mission of their work. That is what inspires and motivates our peers, the people we lead and even those that lead us.

Make a pact that tomorrow at work, at home, at school or even in the back yard talking to your neighbor, whenever they start the bitch spiral, you spiral back. Be the better person and above the fray!

Remember, We “No Yah-Yah” around here!

November 17, 2016

GRACE and TRUTH

I spent the day with a wonderful elementary school principal who leads the most challenging school in our community. Filled with kids, most whose home life is lacking. And that is describing it politely. Most of these kids live in an environment that we wouldn’t wish on our worst enemy. Her stories haunted me last night, wondering what I would do if I were the principal.

I bounced back and forth, “Kick them out. Send them home. Zero tolerance.”

“But why would you send them back to the living hell that will just make their behavior worse?”

“Well, then call the law on the parents.”

“That mom is just parenting how she was parented. She doesn’t know any better. She doesn’t know how to get out of her situation nor does she have the emotional intelligence to help herself.”

“Well then let’s get the state involved and let’s remove the kids from the home?”

And that argument would play over and over in my head. This struggle between my heart and head about GRACE and TRUTH. I struggled with this tension in my heart.

Often I want to push my faith and my heart in one direction or the other. Andy Stanley describes at as, “We like the verses about GRACE when it’s about me and we like the verses about TRUTH when it’s about someone else.”

The TRUTH makes me want to say that you’re accountable, but GRACE makes me say you’re forgiven.

GRACE tells me to say you will be fine, but TRUTH make me say yes, but you are broken.

TRUTH says you must work on it, but GRACE says God loves you.

If we as a community, especially a faith based community, are going to address the generational poverty around us, we are going to have to balance the tension between GRACE and TRUTH. We can’t just play one card or the other, it must be both.

John, who was an eye witness to Jesus, tells us that Jesus was full of GRACE and TRUTH. “For the law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.” John 1:17.

The issues facing this school, this neighborhood, our community……we will not fully address the potential for transformation until we balance both TRUTH and GRACE

Be Salt and Light.

October 30, 2016

VERBAL CLICK BAIT - Part 1

One of my favorite Seinfeld episodes is the one where after being heckled at the comedy club, he then goes to the ladies’ place of work and heckles her until she runs out of her office crying. I think social media would change tremendously if this would happen in real-life.

I love sports and I think it would be the sweetest revenge for a coach to walk on the set of ESPN and heckle one of the pundits. Can’t you see the former LSU coach, Les Miles, walking onto the live set one day and getting on someone like Paul Finebaum?

“Hey Paul, you were 3 – 5 last week in picking games, do you not watch any game film?”

“When did you last play football? Was it flag football in middle school?”

“What qualifies you to talk about who should be hired and fired? Have you ever employed anyone?”

“Aren’t you most famous for a lunatic woman that called into your radio show?”

“You really do have a face for radio.”

“I just don’t get it. You are picking less than 50% of the weekly games correct and you have absolutely no background in football. I can tell you five people who would be better on this show than you.”

And then that wormy looking Amway Salesman Finebaum would run off the set crying.
Now that’s a show worth producing, A Coaches Time to Evaluate the Pundits.

I think some of these coaches on the hot seat ought to designate some grad assistant to evaluate everything these guys say on TV. They then can come up with the ammunition and go after these TV people.


Yet the TV people that just 2nd guess and give the verbal click bait (soundbites that create hits to their twitter feed) have a short shelf life. They eventually get banished to anonymity along with Bill Simmons, Colin Cowherd, and Skip Bayless.

September 29, 2016

Straight from the Rabbi

It is funny how God puts people in our lives just at the right time. I was having coffee recently with a friend of mine who is Jewish. We were discussing of course our anxiety with the cultural problems our society is facing and the challenges around creating open and honest dialogue.

During our talk, my friend said, “Let me tell you a Midrash.” 

A Midrash,” I replied? “Isn’t that something that I need to get a prescription for?” 

He just laughed. So my friend (I now call him my Rabbi) taught me a new word. A Midrash is a form of storytelling that explores ethics and values in biblical text. 

The story he told was..... 
“A group of workers is asked to do something quite difficult and complicated. 
They protest, ‘the day is short’; ‘the work is hard’; ‘the project is too big’; ‘we do not have the right tools’; ‘and, anyway, we are too tired’; ‘we will never finish this job!’ 

Their teacher replies, ‘it is not for you to finish the task, but…you must start the task.”

We will never solve the problems of tomorrow unless we start on them today. Are you ready? I am, and that is your Midrash for the day. Straight from the Rabbi!


Let's get to work. God Bless and Shalom!

September 22, 2016

Then God Shows Up

I find myself over and over asking why and how? I bet many of us are struggling with that question with God. Yet I always find out that God constantly intervenes with us. 

I love the excerpt from John Eldridge’s book Wild at Heart.

“Then the Lord intervened” is perhaps the single most common phrase in Scripture. Look at the stories he writes, There’s the one where the children of Israel are pinned against the Red Sea, no way out, with Pharaoh and his army barreling down on them in a murderous fury. Then God shows up. There’s Shadrach, Meshach, and Abendego, who get rescued only after they’re thrown into the fiery furnace, and then God shows up. He lets the mob kill Jesus, bury him…then he shows up. Do you know why God loves writing such incredible stories? Because he loves to come through!

It strikes me as strange in that God always COMES THROUGH for us when we often doubt his authenticity or his existence or in this case his presence in our reality. But really…when has he not come through? I can’t stand that phrase “God never gives you more than you can handle.” Bull! For many people, this has been more than they can handle. For me it is just that through faith I have learned that I am able to hurdle the hurdles and God likes to come through.

He sent the freckled face little shepherd kid with a slingshot to fight Goliath, the trained killer. He cuts Gideon’s army down to nothing and then arms what’s left of the rag tag group with torches and water pots. He even got his message out to the human race by equipping a couple of prostitutes, a few fishermen with just an elementary education, and a tax collector. Then he passes the ball to us! (John Eldridge, Wild at Heart)

History proves that tragic events don't move people further from God, but CLOSER TO GOD. God shows up!!

September 8, 2016

Letter From Your Child to You About Their Sports Team

Dear Mom and Dad,
As I've gotten older you've always been there to offer encouragement, advice and good wishes. It has helped mold me into the athlete and student I am today. This time, I want to turn the tables and do the same for you, especially since this is my senior year, and likely to be my last time playing organized sports.
There have been times before, during or after games when you've said or done something that has annoyed me. I realize you've meant no harm, but I want to spell things out for you so the memories we take from this last year will be good ones.
First, I want to thank you for respecting my wishes, letting me play a variety of sports, and not making me specialize in one.
The money you spent for me to play on various select teams wasn't a guarantee that I would ever become good enough to play college ball. Look, I know I'm not going to get an athletic scholarship. I've learned something about genetics in biology class. I have your genes, which explains why I'm not 6 feet 10, 275 pounds and can't run the hundred in 10-flat. Don't blame me for not playing at the next level — look in the mirror.
Just kidding. I wouldn't change a thing about me — or you.
Try to see the season from my point of view.
The perspective the two of you get is going to be entirely different from mine. I'll be learning life lessons in the "nontraditional classroom" high-school sports represent. I'll be learning what dedication and commitment means.
I'm also going to experience the fun times, too, moments you can't be any part of, like the 10 minutes in the locker room right before and after games, the bus rides to and from games, and the silly times in the dugout or locker room when I'm just being a kid.
Get the other parents on the team to sit together at our games.
You and the other parents get to have fun, too, as you root for us all season. It's sort of like getting on a ride at Disneyland, with all the ups and downs, thrills and spills.
Here's a golden opportunity for a couple of old fogies like you to make some new friends, and when was the last time that happened?
Cheer for my teammates, not just me.
Go out of your way to get to know some of the others on the team. I am not the only story. Every player has their own story.
They're just our opponents — they're not our enemies.
It's OK with me if you acknowledge a good play or effort by an opponent. You know, those kids are just like me, they just live in a different town. They probably like the same music and movies we do, and there's not much difference between us, other than the color of the uniform.
The team comes first. Not me.
Our coaches do a great job of instilling team values in us, to put aside any selfishness in favor of our common effort. If any of us are unhappy about our playing time, the position we're playing, or the way we're being treated, they want us to come to them and talk about it.
Just because you disagree with the coach, doesn't mean he or she is an idiot.
My head coaches have earned the right to decide who plays. They probably spend 750 to 1,000 hours a year on their sport — planning practices, watching game film, game-planning for each week's opponent, running practices and coaching games, not to mention attending coaching clinics, dealing with paperwork and keeping in touch with players all year. They spend more waking hours during the season with us than their own families. I see more of them each week than I do you during the season.
Dad, I know how much you love sports, and how much you think you know about them from your playing days and watching games year after year. You know a little about a lot of sports. My coaches are the world's greatest experts on one subject — my team.
If you want a relationship with my coaches, make sure it's a supportive one. Thank them for their hard work, be appreciative of all they do and be thankful (as I am) that we have them on our side.
After the game, give me some time to regroup.
If you want to analyze and rehash the game in-depth, I'll do it with you, but won't it keep until the next morning?
When the game is over, don't expect me to be all chatty and happy to talk, at least not right away. Games are physically, mentally and emotionally draining. Everybody's nerves are raw right after a game. Give me time to decompress, to think through what happened and what the coaches said afterward before you start peppering me with all sorts of "what happened?" questions.
Playing in games with my buddies might just be the most fun I'll have in my life.
We've talked about what it's like for me during high-pressure situations, about how your stomachs get twisted into a knot, and how mom sometimes has to hide her eyes.
But I'm so busy playing, so locked in and focused on what I'm doing, that I don't have time to think about what happens if I drop the pass, miss the shot, or strike out.
What you call pressure is fun for me.
Everybody says playing sports builds character. You've told me that yourself. My coaches say that, while it's true, there is a greater truth to be said about sports.
Playing sports reveals character.
My final season has just begun. I hope the character I reveal makes you proud of me. I hope that I, too, can be proud of you.
Now I have to go, it's time for practice.
Here's to a great season.
Love,

Your Child

August 18, 2016

Score Keepers

I like competition. If anyone is about keeping score it’s me.

But keeping score in the workplace is dangerous. As a supervisor or boss we have to. But it is especially disheartening when we keep score of our peers. We all know how people keep score – they count our hours working, they keep score of how they perceive we deal with quality, and they even count the good and bad in our budget. The score keeping list goes on and on.

Often in the Y’s workplace you hear those qualifying statements, “Did you know that such in such is…………” or “Did you see that such in such was not doing ……”

Even when they are correct in their observation and there are mistakes and problems, I always want to ask, “Do you supervise them? How do you have time to do your job and watch everyone else?”

In one of my devotions this week I read the parable about the landowner in the vineyard who paid the laborers all the same whether they worked all day or a partial day. Many of the people who worked all day complained. I was struck by the line in my devo when the author posed, “What if one of the laborers thanked the landowner for his generosity? Are we grateful for the work and wage that is promised us or are we more concerned that others are getting more than they deserve?”

Thoughts
-         - When we grumble and complain about others we lose focus on our work and how we are serving God and his mission.
-         - When we compare and judge we completely ignore and misunderstand God’s grace. (the entire Kingdom is built on God’s Grace!)
-         - When we assume too much about fairness, we ignore the blessings in what we DO have


Maybe today we can practice being a little more thankful and a little less judgmental.

July 20, 2016

Y GIANT

Ironically, I sat around a table of friends this past week and prayed for a few of the people in my life that have impacted my Y career. Little did I know that soon one of those men, Bob Rule, would pass.
Bob Rule was a giant of a man. And that is not just hyperbole. He impacted thousands in his lengthy YMCA career. His loss is not just a loss for the High Point Y, but for the entire YMCA movement.

I was fortunate to have worked for him for 5 ½ years and we have shared a 30-year relationship. During that time Bob was not only my boss but also my mentor, friend and father figure. I owe so much of my career to his leadership. Here are a few things that I carry daily in my work that are truly the influence from Bob.


  • Always keep the Mission First. I read a quote this week that encapsulates Bob’s philosophy. “For some people, you may be the only bible they see.” He understood the Y’s ability to bring people closer to Christ.
  • Bob had a huge heart for the downtrodden and people that were hurting. He taught me early in my career to focus on the people who need the Y the most.
  • He had a clear vision that the YMCA could shape the future. He told me that the kids I worked with at camp and on the sports fields would grow up to be fathers, mothers, members, volunteers, board members, and donors. Never has that been more true than looking across the current leadership landscape in High Point and counting the leaders that participated as kids at the Y.
  • More than anything, Bob made sure that we should always laugh – especially at ourselves! He would always say something to me and I would gulp and think I was in trouble, there would be this long awkward pause and then he would burst out laughing.

Most days during my time in High Point, I would have lunch with the late Joe Miller, who was the long time property manager at the Y. Often our conversations would be about how cool Bob was. Joe said one day that Bob was “Cool Like Jazz.”

I have been in Cleveland County for 24 years, and if anyone in that community feels like myself or the Y has had an impact on their life, well they can draw a straight line back to Bob Rule.


He was a GIANT……No Hyperbole.

July 7, 2016

Story Tellers

This week in the Wall Street Journal, there was an article about story telling. The article outlined the importance of how couples that are able to share life stories with each other form a deeper bond. The gist of the article is people who know how to tell stories have the ability to connect at a deeper level.
I believe this is true as we try and share stories within our Y families. Here are a few story telling tips from the article.

a.       SETTING: Make sure there are no distractions as you share the story. Eliminate the mundane details from the narrative. For example, don’t share the color of your socks or what you were wearing if it’s not pertinent. Think about who is listening and tailor the story to their interests. And don’t share stories about the hum-drum details of our Y, sharing a story is an invitation to come into the Y world. 

b.       PLOT: There should be action and truth in the story. Every story should have a beginning, a middle and an end. It needs a VOICE and if it’s a personal story you should reveal yourself. Share your emotions and don’t be embarrassed to be vulnerable.

c.      WRAP UP: Stories should be about something meaningful. Make the point of your story clear. Work on wrapping up the story concisely and not meandering the end with useless details. Wait for feedback. The story should inspire and help you connect.

Being an effective story teller is empowering to us because we get immediate feedback in their emotional response. It is also empowering to the listener because it helps them understand and connect with us and with the YMCA in a deeper and more meaningful way. These stories help bring the listener back to the core of why they love and support the Y. In tough times, it helps bind us all together in our shared values and history.  Sometimes I like to share a story about the future. I try and paint a picture of the possibilities of our work. This can help us all visualize our organizational aspirations.

I find that the older I get, the more emotional I get when I share. I told a professional story teller that I was embarrassed because I cried once when I shared a story at a very important Y event. He responded that I should cry, every time I share that story.

If you want to be a more effective story teller – REFLECT on the events of your work and life. REFINE what these events mean to you and finally READ great stories that inspire you and learn from the best!

June 22, 2016

Hey, You're on Sports Talk with Cam

When I was in college I would answer my phone, "Hello this is WCAM, what do you want to talk about." 

My dream job would be General Manager of a professional Sports Team or the host of a radio sports call in show. (I feel a little like George Costanza when I say that). When I drive I love to listen to call in shows, I think a segment of mine would go something like this......

ME: Hello, you’re on sports talk with Cam, who am I speaking with?
CALLER: Hey, this is Philip from Oklahoma City, where do you think Kevin Durant will play next year?
ME: I hope he stays in OKC. If he goes to Golden State then his career is just Scottie Pippen. I would think KD is a Michael Jordan person and wants to build around himself. OKC is close and only a few shots from being in the final. I think they can find that piece.
Again, if he chooses to go to Golden State in hopes of winning a championship he better hope he wins, and if he does he will be known as Scottie Pippen, which means he can only win if he’s #2. Scottie needed MJ, Dwayne Wade needed Shaq and Lebron. He’d be the caddie, not the player.
ME: Hey, you’re on sports talk, who is calling?
CALLER: Hey, this is Tyler from Raleigh. Who is the better pitcher, Jake Arrieta or Clayton Kershaw.
ME: Well Jake is third behind Kershaw and Madison Bumgarner.
CALLER: You’re crazy, Arrieta is the most dominating pitcher in the game.
ME: Don’t ask the question if you don’t want the answer. Arrieta is the best at pitching naked, have you seen the pics from the ESPN Body Issue? But Kershaw’s stats are by far better and he is pitching for a worse team. And I just love Mad Bums, he is a BIG GAME pitcher.
ME: Let’s go to another caller?
CALLER: Hey this is Warren from Nashville, should Klinsmann be fired?
ME: Who is Klinsmann?
CALLER: He’s the coach of the World Cup Soccer Team?
ME: Oh, Soccer. I don’t think anybody really cares. I hate for any guy lose his job so I say keep him.
CALLER: Man, Klinsmann sucks and we can’t win any big game.
ME: Go find a communist station that cares, this is a sports talk show and we don’t discuss soccer.
ME: Hey you’re on Sports Talk with Cam, who is calling
CALLER: Hey, this is Karen from Dallas. How do you feel about the US Open and the way the penalty stroke played out against Dustin Johnson?
ME: First, was it just me or was the fact that the Open was being televised on Fox with new announcers, did it sound completely awkward? I don’t know.
First, the USGA completely screwed that up and they need to just fess up to their mistake and move on.
Second, I am glad DJ won but I think Fox was more excited that the Gretzky girl ran on to the green than they were that DJ won. I felt like the camera guy was focused on her and easing DJ out of the frame.

ME: Today’s show is being brought to you by McDonalds..Da Da Da Da Da, We’re Lovin’ It. Lines are jammed and we will get to you soon. Let’s take a commercial break. 

April 26, 2016

To Ryanne and Her/Our Notre Dame Friends/Family

The hardest part of this season of graduation is not the exams. It is obviously the anxiety of that day when you pile everything in your car and drive away toward the next life stage. 30 years after that day for me and I can remember it vividly. Just wait until next spring when all of your “still in college friends” head off to tropical spring break destinations and you have to go to work!

I hope you and your friends will take 120 seconds and read a few of my thoughts.

I recently read a devotion which made me think of you. It shared that the primary way the gospels present Jesus with his disciples is as people on a journey. Jesus is always moving quickly from place to place, with his poor, sometimes dazed and confused disciples stumbling along after Him. He calls disciples, not to sit down and rest with Him, not to build great stone buildings where they can settle down with Him; rather He calls disciples to move with Him.

Our commitment to each of you, as your parents, is that we are still here and will continue to help you along your way. You are beginning a new journey and as adults know, college was just one small beginning not the destination.

We pray that you are able to discern God’s promptings in your life. We hope that at age 22 you are more aware of your spiritual gifts than we were and you realize God’s blessings on you as you continue to grow in Christ, as you continue to live out your new life. We are confident that you will not simply survive, but you will triumph and have a life over flowing with joy.

We hope what makes you special and what gives us all hope is that when you hear Jesus say, “Follow Me” you know he means you and you dare to follow!

March 31, 2016

Same Old Same Old - Every Day

One of my favorite preachers is Mike Breaux, and he describes the “same old life” this way.

“You get up at the same old time, shut off the same old alarm clock, walk in the same old bathroom, look at the same old face in the same old mirror, get in the same old shower, dry off with the same old towel and put on the same old clothes.

Then you walk down to the same old kitchen, get out the same old bowl, pour the same old cereal and eat it with the same old spoon, drink the same old coffee, read the same old paper and kiss the same old wife. After that you get in the same old car, drive the same old way to the same old job, sit at the same old desk and laugh at the same old jokes the same old boss tells the same old way.

You clock out at the same old time, get back in the same old car, drive down the same old street, pull into the same old garage, hug the same old kids, walk back into the same old kitchen and sit down and eat that same old dinner.

Finally, you walk to the same old family room, sit in the same old recliner, watch that same old TV show, fall asleep in that same old chair, get up and go to the same old bed, ask that same old wife that same old question, get that same old answer, then roll over and set that same old alarm clock and get up the next morning and do the same old thing all over again.”

That story makes me laugh but also hits too close home. The “same old same old” mentality is driving me crazy, especially at the Y. We keep doing the same old programs the same old way expecting different results. Isn’t that the definition of insanity?

IBM once surveyed over 1500 CEOs. In the interviews, CEOs said that creativity was the leadership quality they valued most. Creativity offers new risks, new ideas, new ways of influencing and communicating. Creative leaders invite innovation and encourage others to move past outdated approaches and take balanced risks. They are open-minded in expanding their management and communication styles, particularly to engage with a new generation of employees, volunteers and members. 

The IBM study asks: 

• How will you develop the critical capabilities to enhance creativity among your leadership team?

• In what ways can you explore, reward and integrate diverse and unconventional thinking?

• What is your approach to challenge your current business model to get the most from currently untapped opportunities?

• How will you leverage new communication styles, technologies and tools, both to lead a new generation of talent and encourage breakthrough thinking?

After you read this, will you respond the same old way?

March 17, 2016

On Boarding for Staff

I think I found a new way to do the on boarding for new staff at the YMCA; I am going to give them a year of Netflix with the instructions to watch the entire series of The West Wing. My wife will say that my infatuation with the show is just a crazy desire to have everyone stand whenever I enter a room. There may be some truth to that because every time I enter a room I always say, “Stay seated” even though everyone is already seated and very few even acknowledge my presence.

It’s probably not a good idea to ask employees that already work long hours to use 150 plus hours of their free time to watch an old TV show. Maybe I could just give them a couple of episodes from each season to watch and then we could meet periodically and debrief over the lessons.

I’ve thought about just showing them special clips but I think the leadership lesson is understanding the characters. These characters exhibit a skill set of unbelievable work ethic, an impassioned belief in the mission of their work, and an unwavering loyalty to each other. The characters have wildly different personalities yet they blend this diversity of thought into debates and arguments that help bring about decisions that are timely and thoughtful. The debates show passion and when employees are passionate about their work, they are also productive.

While the work of the Y is not trying to change America, it is trying to change our community. Change is exhausting and the often thankless work demands that our staff teams be committed to the mission and to each other. I am not sure of the magic needed to create a team that trust each other, is honest with each other, and is accountable for incredibly high standards. That is exactly the kind of stuff that Patrick Lencioni, author and business guru, has been stating for years. I guess my idealistic hope is that in watching it modeled on a TV show, that somehow osmosis will create the same environment. Now how much is the monthly Netflix subscription? And it's leadership from The West Wing, not House of Cards.

5 Traits for Your Team From the West Wing
1.       Passionate about the Mission
2.       Open to creating relationships with their peers
3.       Strong work ethic
4.       Belief in team success over personal success
5.       Really good at their job

January 22, 2016

Bartenders

Working at the YMCA is a lot like being a bartender. Don’t roll your eyes at that premise because I came to that conclusion while doing some very thorough research. Recently I sat at the bar at a very prestigious hotel and I struck up a conversation with Sam the bar tender. And yes that was his name and no I did not see Cliff, Norm or Carla.

I watched Sam in amazement as he completely and totally overwhelmed the dozen or so patrons in this very upscale hotel bar. I stopped him after observing him for a while and told him I was in the customer service business and I asked him what his secret was. He humbly professed, “I just do what every bar tender does, I try and remember a little bit about every person.” That comment made me smile but his follow up gave me goose bumps. “I just come to work every day and hope everyone that I meet leaves this place going, ‘wow, this is a great place.’ “

Our best staff have that in their DNA. They easily learn the stories of the members that walk through our doors and they connect in a way that makes those members feel like the Y is more than just another gym, they make it feel like home.

Sam commented that a few of the regular patrons often have to be run out of the bar at closing time. “We treat everyone like family by just knowing everyone. This place has become part of their identity,” added Sam. I could tell that Sam has spent decades connecting people; introducing one traveling business man to the next. Often times he says, helping broker a high powered deal.

Sam shared that he regularly interacts with very rich businessmen, influential politicians, athletes and entertainers. “I try and treat everyone the same regardless of who they are. A job well done is making them feel like they are ALL part of my family.”

He is like the stereo typical bar tender in that people share with them their hard luck stories. Even while serving people he can over hear some very private information. He shared one story about serving a couple that was in town because a close family member had died, Sam’s eyes watered as he shared their story. His interest was not just hawking tips. Sam’s secret was he was genuinely investing himself in their lives and in their stories.

I asked Sam, what was the best day on the job. He quickly added that he has had too many to pick a BEST. “This job allows me to do so many favors for people and seeing the joy on their faces is incredible.” He quickly discussed arranging theater tickets for a father and daughter, introducing a patron to a famed college basketball coach for an autograph for his son and also connecting a recently unemployed patron with a business owner who quickly offered a job. “If you keep your eyes and ears open, it becomes fairly easy to connect dots. Life is like a puzzle and I get unbelievable joy in getting the pieces to fit together.”

“The number one thing for a bartender is listening,” Sam laughed. I felt like he could spend all day sharing stories. I wanted to hear the stories of the famous people but the truly heartwarming stories were the interactions with just the every-day traveler. I think being a story teller has to be a trait that bartenders and Y Directors must have!

Watching Sam that night was like watching a conductor handle an orchestra. He easily moves from the group of four businessmen, to the couple having the romantic getaway and back across to the few of us sitting randomly at the bar. Sam is not just a bartender, he’s an ambassador. He and this hotel are linked in mutual service. The affection so many have for this place is due much to the ambassador behind the bar. The man that welcomed me into his family, left me going, “wow, this is an awesome place.”

January 17, 2016

Refrigerator Rights

As a kid, I had refrigerator rights at a few of my neighbor’s houses. That is the ability to get food out of the fridge without asking permission. Lock myself out of the house, I could walk over to the neighbors. Get a flat tire on my bike and someone would drive me home. The 70’s for me was truly that anecdote of a neighbor getting on me when I did something wrong and then calling my parents afterward.

I don’t want to romanticize it too much. My mom wasn’t June Cleaver, but there was more stay at home moms, no video games or cable TV and my bike was the mode of transportation. I had to make my bed every day, mow the yard once a week and we typically played outside until someone’s mom screamed for them to come in and then whatever game we were playing under the street lights ended.

Reflecting on Martin Luther King this weekend made me reflect on my old neighborhood. MLK often shared a sermon theme on “love your neighbor as yourself.” King’s version of neighbor was much bigger than just the person next door and the group of people who look and act like you. MLK’s version of love your neighbor emphasized compassion. He stressed a biblical view of the neighborhood.

Culturally we have lost that connection with our neighbors and our community. We will pack a room to hear a political candidate, but do we show up to help revitalize a neighborhood or school? We will be first in line to see the newest movie but do we volunteer for local agencies?

Courage is required to help others. If we are to honor MLK’s message today, we have to move away from the “what’s in it for me?” mentality to a movement of compassion and mercy. We should treat with compassion the neighbors we encounter who are in need. They may be the kid next door with the flat tire or the family you read about in the paper. Your neighbor in need may be that third world kid on the late night commercials or a co-worker in the cubicle down the hall. Your neighbor may only need a shoulder to cry on or a consoling hug.


Martin Luther King may say to us today, just unplug, look around and see what good we can do.