Posting on Facebook is an art not a science. I have to admit that I am more of a lurker than a poster. But when I do post, I measure the success or failure of that post by it's response. If it gets no response..."crash and burn."
The blog-o-sphere is full of advice of what not to post and how not to post on FB. Too bad most posters don't read this or ignore this advice.
For the last two months I have monitored the posters on my page and I want to acknowledge three. Three people that don't seem to copy post from some comedic web site. Three people that always elicit great comments and feedback. The comments are often better than the posts. And all three get comments from their spouses. Impressive! My wife has blocked me on Facebook and doesn't read my blog. These three typically post great photos, make me laugh, make me think and still manage to let me be involved in their lives.
First is Lori Swan from Nashville, TN. Lori is a YMCA friend that even though she looks much younger than me, she actually led a training that I attended early in my career. Obviously the water is much better in Nashville! She is much better preserved. Here is an example of a post by Lori. "I want TSA to put up a sign that the Amish are not allowed in the expert travel lane. I love the Amish, but they can't be in that big of a hurry or they would lose the buggies. Move it grandpa!"
Second is Randy Rains from Atlanta, GA. Randy was a high school friend. Even though he moved away from Mauldin close to 30 years ago, we kept up with each other through college and as we both started families. All of this is prior to Internet, email and social media. Thank God for the annual Christmas card! Here is an example of a post by Randy. "Holy Crap.... Festivus is only 6 days away.... I better shine my pole and work on my feats of strength...."
And finally is Steve D'Avria. Another Y peer and a Notre Dame grad. Steve hooked me up with tickets in South Bend a few years ago so he has a head start on most people! He is also a blogger who has a much bigger following than the 8 people who read mine. Here is an example of a post by Steve. "is still getting delicious meals from friends and neighbors. I'm tempted to have another baby just for the free food."
Lets all make our 2011 New Year's resolution to acknowledge the best posters and to be more like them. Now I have to go feed the dogs and go night-night.
December 30, 2010
December 23, 2010
People I will Miss
Leslie Nielsen – His Airplane lines have become part of my basic language. I probably say, “Stop calling me Shirley” at least once a month.
Tom Bosley – The show Happy Days has to be one of the top 5 most impactful shows in my life. Mr. C was the quintessential father, always offering Joanie and Ritchie such great advice.
Barbara Billingsley – Just once in my life I want to come home and have my wife cleaning and cooking in a dress, high heels and pearls!
Dennis Hopper – Best remembered by most for his early works, but I loved him in Hoosiers. “Hey Boys, don’t get caught watching the paint dry!”
JD Salinger – Catcher in the Rye may be the only book that I ever really read in high school.
Teddy Pendergrass – While my class mates had rock and roll blasting in their cars, I had “Love TKO” in my cassette deck
John Wooden – Any man that writes his deceased wife a love letter every month on their anniversary is a saint.
I also miss Lane, Puckett, Franklin, Jim, Gina and Stacey. I think of you all often.
Tom Bosley – The show Happy Days has to be one of the top 5 most impactful shows in my life. Mr. C was the quintessential father, always offering Joanie and Ritchie such great advice.
Barbara Billingsley – Just once in my life I want to come home and have my wife cleaning and cooking in a dress, high heels and pearls!
Dennis Hopper – Best remembered by most for his early works, but I loved him in Hoosiers. “Hey Boys, don’t get caught watching the paint dry!”
JD Salinger – Catcher in the Rye may be the only book that I ever really read in high school.
Teddy Pendergrass – While my class mates had rock and roll blasting in their cars, I had “Love TKO” in my cassette deck
John Wooden – Any man that writes his deceased wife a love letter every month on their anniversary is a saint.
I also miss Lane, Puckett, Franklin, Jim, Gina and Stacey. I think of you all often.
December 2, 2010
BAD COACHES
Recently, the media has addressed coaching behavior in college football by Nebraska's Bo Pellini and also Arizona's Mike Stoops. And recently, coaching behavior has invaded the life of my own kids.
It is inevitable with every game being scrutinized by a half dozen cameras and unlimited media outlets. I am sure it won't be long into this college basketball season when the cameras catch some coach grabbing a players uniform or accidentally slobbering on some teenager as they scream unlimited profanities.
My opinion on this issue makes me feel like Canada because I am on the fence. I grew up with several face mask grabbers and shirt pullers. I can't remember being cussed, but I have been yelled at unmercifully. Coach Hopkins at Mauldin High School called me a terd maybe 6,000 times! I still liked that bald headed jerk and I don't need therapy. (My wife may debate that statement) I kind of like it when my kid's coaches "get up in the grill" ( the new term I am learning) because they don't get much of that at home. Darrell and Sandra Corder definitely knew how to get up in my grill and I was called much worse than terd.
I like to use the old joke that I thought I was a Cherokee Indian for many years and that my name was Little Bastard.
One friend told me yesterday that he didn't care if a coach yelled at his son, but don't dare yell at his daughter. Why do most parents feel that way? I am not sure but they do! When I coached the women's team at Wingate, the head coach very seldom "grilled" the team, but look at Pat Summit, she is ruthless. No coach is more ruthless than Coach K. (We like to call him Coach F) But most of his players revere him.
I think the key with Coach K, Pat Summit and my parents, is that at no time during the verbal barrage do the players feel like they are not loved. These coaches have earned respect and have a strong enough relationship that they can withstand a "GRILLING." These coaches also know and understand what buttons to push and when to push them.
The problem becomes when we encounter coaches at the YMCA, the rec league or in our school systems who are not professional coaches. They don't know how to create realtionships and don't know the psyche of the 10 year old boy or 17 year old teenage girl. They look at the unlimited images of these legendary coaches "ripping new ones" on their players and they think, I can do that.
Again I am on the fence. If they can motivate my kids to hold a block, hit the cut off man, make a layup and more importantly clean their room and pick up their dirty clothes than let it roll baby, let it roll!
Watch this clip of top coaching melt downs.
November 11, 2010
October 28, 2010
Title IX is a Joke
In it's original intent it was supposed to create some equality in sports offerings. That is why today, there are as many women's sports teams as men's teams.
But it is all a sham. A complete sham and a big flim-flam. It's a monumental hoax.
Oh sure, athletic directors can find enough energy to recruit 15 coaches to help out with the football team, but cant find enough money, time or energy to find one qualified coach for women's (you name the sport.) Often its just an assistant football coach who is wasting everybodies time coaching the sport just for the measly supplement.
You can tell the schools that truly invest in women's sports (Kings Mountain, Hendersonville). They understand that our girls need great role models, people that understand the female psyche and also someone qualified to teach a sport. But most idiot AD's find a baby sitter. A make believe coach. A pretend wanna-be coach.
And this is an issue across the board. Look at who coaches the girls and boys sports teams at your middle school. Study who is coaching the JV and Varsity sports teams at your high school. And go find out about pay scales and recruiting budgets for the men's and women's sports teams at a close by university.
If we find obvious inequity we ought to lock that AD in a room with Pat Summit for 30 minutes while she rips him a new one.
My solution is each school should have an AD for men's sports and an AD for women's sports. Let each AD find the best qualified coach possible.
My hat goes off to the AD's that have a vision for all sports and treat women's athletics with the respect it deserves. There are so many great life lessons we learn through competition and the value of our athletes must be equal, whether they are on the gridiron or the tennis court.
Again, most schools can find 15 tobacco chewing, high pocketed, cussing and fussing, can't teach anything football coaches, but we can't find a match for any women's sports? Pisses me off, can you tell?
"Hey coach, Pat Summit's on line 1 for you!"
But it is all a sham. A complete sham and a big flim-flam. It's a monumental hoax.
25 years ago when I coached, I joked about Title IX, only to have an old coach tell me, "wait til you have daughters and you will think differently." So here I am with a 16 year old daughter and I realize that regardless of Title IX or any other legislation or purple lipstick you put on the pig, women's sports get shafted.
Oh sure, athletic directors can find enough energy to recruit 15 coaches to help out with the football team, but cant find enough money, time or energy to find one qualified coach for women's (you name the sport.) Often its just an assistant football coach who is wasting everybodies time coaching the sport just for the measly supplement.
You can tell the schools that truly invest in women's sports (Kings Mountain, Hendersonville). They understand that our girls need great role models, people that understand the female psyche and also someone qualified to teach a sport. But most idiot AD's find a baby sitter. A make believe coach. A pretend wanna-be coach.
And this is an issue across the board. Look at who coaches the girls and boys sports teams at your middle school. Study who is coaching the JV and Varsity sports teams at your high school. And go find out about pay scales and recruiting budgets for the men's and women's sports teams at a close by university.
If we find obvious inequity we ought to lock that AD in a room with Pat Summit for 30 minutes while she rips him a new one.
My solution is each school should have an AD for men's sports and an AD for women's sports. Let each AD find the best qualified coach possible.
My hat goes off to the AD's that have a vision for all sports and treat women's athletics with the respect it deserves. There are so many great life lessons we learn through competition and the value of our athletes must be equal, whether they are on the gridiron or the tennis court.
Again, most schools can find 15 tobacco chewing, high pocketed, cussing and fussing, can't teach anything football coaches, but we can't find a match for any women's sports? Pisses me off, can you tell?
"Hey coach, Pat Summit's on line 1 for you!"
September 27, 2010
It's Tough Work but Somebody Has to do It!
These 3 days will not be about finding some quantum-leap moment to improve our leadership skills, but it will be about looking for ways to stretch our minds and broaden our horizons.
This Leadership Summit experience is a different style of personal development. When great leaders come together, the synergy between relationships and mentoring can provide an avenue for leadership growth.
Hebrews 10:24-25 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
September 11, 2010
WE ARE.....T.J.
I think it’s funny how you said TJ out loud even though you are reading my blog!!!!
But that is the chant I kept hearing over and over Friday night as my kids charter school, Thomas Jefferson Classical Academy, played their first ever home football contest. Headmaster, Joe Maimone and Head Football Coach, Tony Helton, were walking on air. I am sure when they walked up to that field and those lights came on, they had one of those moments like Rudy’s dad had the first time he walked into Notre Dame’s Stadium, “this is the most beautiful site these eyes have ever seen.” I'm sure Joe Maimone asked Coach Helton the old Field of Dreams line, "Is this Heaven?" and Tony replied, "No, Avondale."
Every game Coach Helton could give the We Are Marshall Speech. (Click Link)
Every team we play is bigger than us, faster than us, stronger than us and much more athletic than us. They all have twice as many players as us and have years of football tradition and feeder programs that just make their programs over power us. But Friday night was special. Even though we quickly fell behind 41 – 6, when we recovered a fumble, the crowd cheered like we were about to win the super bowl.
And we had a crowd. The typical 120 parents and students at a game turned into well over 1200 people. Many of those were kids from the lower school, all wearing uniforms of their hero TJ players. These kids sang the national anthem and it was more inspiring than a Blue Angels Jet fly over.
Not even aware that their heroes were being dominated, all they saw were these great young men in the burgundy and gold. I saw one little girl crying because her dad was making them leave at half time. “There will be more games sweet heart.”
“But they need me to cheer for them.” she cried.
I overheard a fan from the other team mention, “I don’t think I have ever been welcomed to a stadium like this before.” TJ fans are awesome. In all sports when our teams are getting killed, I don’t hear much grumbling about referees (except for me). I don’t hear comments about crazy head coaches (well maybe me again) and I don’t hear cries about the other teams bullying us (OK so I have some issues). What I hear from most parents is all of this encouraging, “keep your head up guys” “We are proud of you” “Great job men.”
Again we are down 35 points and our crowd breaks out into the chant, “WE ARE…TJ.”
We may never be a football factory. But we are a community of families that care deeply about helping guide our children through life and helping them reach goals and dreams that they never thought possible. We are a community that believes in character and values and honor and duty. And when you meet a student from Thomas Jefferson Classical Academy you feel good about the future of our world.
WE ARE (TJ)! WE ARE (TJ)!
August 23, 2010
Perfect Employee
He's not especially big—barely 6'1" and a steady 238 pounds year after year—not especially fast, not especially elusive. What he offers, what he has always offered, are those things football coaches call "intangibles," though the truth is that the skills are really quite tangible. He runs all-out every time. He catches the ball well. He speaks up and says the right things at meetings, visits the teammate having a tough time, watches other players to see how he can help. Yes, help even those Terminators who come for his job. Also, perhaps more than anything else, Richardson accepts the violence of the position.
That describes the perfect employee to me. He works hard every day. He does the little things well. He speaks up at meetings, mentors a peer that is struggling and looks to see how he can help out a co-worker. The perfect employee even helps the younger staff that could possibly take their job! The perfect employee accepts the crap that goes with the job!
We have spent the last decade writing books and reading books about servant leadership and here we find the quality we hold such a high regard for playing fullback in the NFL. Not the CEO of HP, BP or BofA, but the Jets. J.E.T.S.Jets-Jets-Jets!
Can you believe this quote? Richardson says, "it just means more to me to help someone else achieve glory. There's something about it that feels right to me." That statement is almost too good to be true.
"I don't think I've ever been around a player," his old coach Dick Vermeil said, "who worked harder to be a better man."
I can't find myself pulling for the Jets, but I do have a new favorite player!
August 16, 2010
August Thoughts
• “Are you ready for some football?” said in my favorite Hank Williams voice.
• Can’t wait for those Golden Helmets and those Carolina Blues to hit the field!
• I think a great new business venture would be text books on a Kindle. I know companies are doing that. The problem is that the college book store business will drastically change and how do they make “Kindle” profitable for publishers and universities.
• By the way, I don’t own a Kindle. Wish I did though.
• Modern Family is the best show on TV!
• Andre Dawson being inducted in to the Baseball Hall of Fame was a big day for me. I wore my Expos hat and shirt all day.
• I got a new car in April with a hands free/Bluetooth phone. My son says since I have stopped texting while I drive that I need hands free text. Do they have that?
• From an INC magazine article. “What would a world without offices look like? Well Dilbert wouldn’t be funny and there would be no such thing as rush hour traffic. If 40% of the workforce worked from home, (which it probably could) 100 hours per person saved on not commuting, 1500 lives saved to no car accidents, and 200 billion saved in real estate expenses and electrical bills.” Don’t laugh at your friend the next time they say they spent all day at work in their PJs.
• I grow dirt. I just have a few beds that I compost, I till and I rake. No plants just dirt. I like to dig up the worms. Nothing prettier than freshly tilled dirt!
• My father in-law used to joke while walking through Lowes, “this would be a great place for hardware store.” Have you noticed that their service has improved lately? I am going to start watching their stock again!
• I am seeing more and more friends cancel phone service and just use their cell phones exclusively.
• Jason Bourne and Michael Westin (Burn Notice on USA Network) could save the world!
• Funniest thing I have heard about Tiger Woods was at this year’s Masters. A plane flying over pulled a sign that read, “Tiger: Did you mean Bootyism?”
• The Annual Redneck Convention in Hillsville, VA is just around the corner!
• My new favorite quote from Phil Mickelson, “A great shot is when you pull it off. A smart shot is when you don’t have the guts to try it.”
• I have often used with Y members or staff the term “Spirit of the Rule.” We can’t have a society where we write every conceivable probability in rules and regulations. We would need to walk around with lawyers and that would only be fun for lawyers!
• Dustin Johnson got hosed by the PGA! Spirit of the Rule dudes!
• Can’t wait for those Golden Helmets and those Carolina Blues to hit the field!
• I think a great new business venture would be text books on a Kindle. I know companies are doing that. The problem is that the college book store business will drastically change and how do they make “Kindle” profitable for publishers and universities.
• By the way, I don’t own a Kindle. Wish I did though.
• Modern Family is the best show on TV!
• Andre Dawson being inducted in to the Baseball Hall of Fame was a big day for me. I wore my Expos hat and shirt all day.
• I got a new car in April with a hands free/Bluetooth phone. My son says since I have stopped texting while I drive that I need hands free text. Do they have that?
• From an INC magazine article. “What would a world without offices look like? Well Dilbert wouldn’t be funny and there would be no such thing as rush hour traffic. If 40% of the workforce worked from home, (which it probably could) 100 hours per person saved on not commuting, 1500 lives saved to no car accidents, and 200 billion saved in real estate expenses and electrical bills.” Don’t laugh at your friend the next time they say they spent all day at work in their PJs.
• I grow dirt. I just have a few beds that I compost, I till and I rake. No plants just dirt. I like to dig up the worms. Nothing prettier than freshly tilled dirt!
• My father in-law used to joke while walking through Lowes, “this would be a great place for hardware store.” Have you noticed that their service has improved lately? I am going to start watching their stock again!
• I am seeing more and more friends cancel phone service and just use their cell phones exclusively.
• Jason Bourne and Michael Westin (Burn Notice on USA Network) could save the world!
• Funniest thing I have heard about Tiger Woods was at this year’s Masters. A plane flying over pulled a sign that read, “Tiger: Did you mean Bootyism?”
• The Annual Redneck Convention in Hillsville, VA is just around the corner!
• My new favorite quote from Phil Mickelson, “A great shot is when you pull it off. A smart shot is when you don’t have the guts to try it.”
• I have often used with Y members or staff the term “Spirit of the Rule.” We can’t have a society where we write every conceivable probability in rules and regulations. We would need to walk around with lawyers and that would only be fun for lawyers!
• Dustin Johnson got hosed by the PGA! Spirit of the Rule dudes!
July 28, 2010
Who Understands Tragedy?
Who understands when the unexplainable happens? I have walked around numb for about 4 days now trying to figure out how and why tragedy strikes. One of two things happen during tragedy, you either run from God or to him. Yesterday during my workout I turned to Him and let my ipod play Bebo Norman, Nicole Mullen, Casting Crowns, Chris Tomlin, Kyle Matthews, Steven Curtis Chapman and Brandon Heath.
I remembered that my Redeemer Lives and that Amazing Grace was so sweet. That Jesus is the great light of my world in times of darkness. That I am the hands and feet of Jesus to other people during these dark days. There is tremendous power in prayer. Your heart has to skip a beat when you know that so many people are praying for you and also when you know you are part of the thousands praying for someone else. This is a definite goosebump moment.
God is great and if you could see what I see then you will not run from God you will sprint to him.
Even though my heart is broken my spirit is filled!
I’ll meet you there
Inside the tomb
Beside the cross
Beneath the star
July 24, 2010
Repeat post - BRAWL at THE BEACH
It will not be long before the school bells start ringing again and it signals the end of another hectic summer. The summer of 2010 will be highlighted just like every summer for the past 16 summers; It is the annual Johnson family (my in-laws) beach trip.
Let me describe the week for you. 5 families, 18 people, and 1 house. More numerical trivia defines the week as 1 kitchen, 4 bathrooms, 4 in-laws, and 1 TV. There is another TV in brother in-law Brian’s bedroom but he retires to that room at 6pm every night so that TV was off limits. 10 adults and 8 children, a few of the adults could be classified as children but that is another story. There are 7 females and 11 males. Now refer back to that 1 TV thing and factor in only one remote.
Not that the average temperature on the beach is usually in excess of 100 degrees and that our A/C does all it can to cool the house below 75 has anything to do with it, but the week is always HOT! I used to print family tee shirts called The Brawl at the Beach, but my wife said that slogan painted a bad picture of our family and she wanted something more positive. I liked to call it The Brawl at the Beach because every summer for the last fifteen years this beach trip has been accentuated by an argument between spouses, a parent and child, or siblings. Every year, like clock work, someone was fighting by Wednesday.
You could call my family’s car the Vegas car because the 5 hour drive to the beach is spent speculating and placing odds on whom would be fighting first and what they would be fighting about. Oh yea, did I share that there are four in laws on this trip, and I am one of them? Well I am preparing to spend a week at the beach with the in-laws or better put, as THE IN-LAW. And this week is the best week of the year for me and my wife and kids.
I think what attracted me most to my wife was her family. My family communicates best over the phone and now by email. This family likes to hang out. That is “hang out with each other!” My family struggles to be civil to each other yet this family’s heartbeat is getting on each other’s nerves. It seems that they would rather argue together than be happy alone. I think there is a bible verse that says that in Proverbs! My family last took a beach trip or any vacation for that matter in 1973 and that was a true brawl at the beach.
But anyway this in-law revelry is so appealing to me that I am enthralled by the week like they have me in some brain washed hypnotic state. In a nutshell the beach trip is encompassed by husband-wife spats, bratty kids (except mine), smart-alec comments (that is me), hurt feelings, little relaxation, high stress, last nerves being trampled on and sheer and utter joy! It is always the best week of my year. I like to complain about it but that is part of the allure. Kind of like being female, you know they’re not happy unless they are complaining. (That is the sarcasm that often gets me in trouble.) But I enjoy complaining about having to go to the beach and I enjoy complaining after I come back, but secretly this is the week and the family that I always dreamed of.
Now don’t get me wrong about my side of the family, we just have a different way of showing our love. We must live several hours from each other where the in-laws all live on the family ponderosa. My family tries to have meals together during special holidays where the in-laws try and eat together as much as they can.
By the end of week, I hope my wife and kids appreciate me half as much as I do them. Often I just sit and stare at them across the room, while they sleep, or as they play. It is hard to ignore the wonderfulness of my wife and kids during the 7 days on the “Ark.” I want my kids to see the joy in being together as a family. And I want them to see that it ain’t always picture perfect. It ain’t always clean, nice, sweet, and even likeable. But it IS about family and about love. Don’t worry about the warts or black sheep in the family, but really focus on the loving glow that engulfs us all.
I think that Proverbs verse says “I’d rather eat salad with my in-laws than steak with the neighbors.” And I wouldn’t trade 1 Brawl at the Beach for 100 Disney Trips.
The sad truth is because of aging kids and more hectic schedules, this may be the last Brawl at the Beach. My hope is that it’s less than 53 weeks before we do it all over again and I am counting the weeks. Just don’t tell my mother in law.
Let me describe the week for you. 5 families, 18 people, and 1 house. More numerical trivia defines the week as 1 kitchen, 4 bathrooms, 4 in-laws, and 1 TV. There is another TV in brother in-law Brian’s bedroom but he retires to that room at 6pm every night so that TV was off limits. 10 adults and 8 children, a few of the adults could be classified as children but that is another story. There are 7 females and 11 males. Now refer back to that 1 TV thing and factor in only one remote.
Not that the average temperature on the beach is usually in excess of 100 degrees and that our A/C does all it can to cool the house below 75 has anything to do with it, but the week is always HOT! I used to print family tee shirts called The Brawl at the Beach, but my wife said that slogan painted a bad picture of our family and she wanted something more positive. I liked to call it The Brawl at the Beach because every summer for the last fifteen years this beach trip has been accentuated by an argument between spouses, a parent and child, or siblings. Every year, like clock work, someone was fighting by Wednesday.
You could call my family’s car the Vegas car because the 5 hour drive to the beach is spent speculating and placing odds on whom would be fighting first and what they would be fighting about. Oh yea, did I share that there are four in laws on this trip, and I am one of them? Well I am preparing to spend a week at the beach with the in-laws or better put, as THE IN-LAW. And this week is the best week of the year for me and my wife and kids.
I think what attracted me most to my wife was her family. My family communicates best over the phone and now by email. This family likes to hang out. That is “hang out with each other!” My family struggles to be civil to each other yet this family’s heartbeat is getting on each other’s nerves. It seems that they would rather argue together than be happy alone. I think there is a bible verse that says that in Proverbs! My family last took a beach trip or any vacation for that matter in 1973 and that was a true brawl at the beach.
But anyway this in-law revelry is so appealing to me that I am enthralled by the week like they have me in some brain washed hypnotic state. In a nutshell the beach trip is encompassed by husband-wife spats, bratty kids (except mine), smart-alec comments (that is me), hurt feelings, little relaxation, high stress, last nerves being trampled on and sheer and utter joy! It is always the best week of my year. I like to complain about it but that is part of the allure. Kind of like being female, you know they’re not happy unless they are complaining. (That is the sarcasm that often gets me in trouble.) But I enjoy complaining about having to go to the beach and I enjoy complaining after I come back, but secretly this is the week and the family that I always dreamed of.
Now don’t get me wrong about my side of the family, we just have a different way of showing our love. We must live several hours from each other where the in-laws all live on the family ponderosa. My family tries to have meals together during special holidays where the in-laws try and eat together as much as they can.
By the end of week, I hope my wife and kids appreciate me half as much as I do them. Often I just sit and stare at them across the room, while they sleep, or as they play. It is hard to ignore the wonderfulness of my wife and kids during the 7 days on the “Ark.” I want my kids to see the joy in being together as a family. And I want them to see that it ain’t always picture perfect. It ain’t always clean, nice, sweet, and even likeable. But it IS about family and about love. Don’t worry about the warts or black sheep in the family, but really focus on the loving glow that engulfs us all.
I think that Proverbs verse says “I’d rather eat salad with my in-laws than steak with the neighbors.” And I wouldn’t trade 1 Brawl at the Beach for 100 Disney Trips.
The sad truth is because of aging kids and more hectic schedules, this may be the last Brawl at the Beach. My hope is that it’s less than 53 weeks before we do it all over again and I am counting the weeks. Just don’t tell my mother in law.
July 12, 2010
Our Visit to Sundance, UT
This place in the mountains, amid nature's casualness toward death and birth, is the perfect host for the inspiration of ideas: harsh at times, life threatening in its winters of destruction, but tender in attention to the details of every petal of every wildflower resurrected in the spring. Nature and creativity obey the same laws, to the same end: life.
- Robert Redford
June 25, 2010
SAME OLD, SAME OLD
One of my favorite preachers is Mike Breaux, and he describes the “same old life” this way.
“You get up at the same old time, shut off the same old alarm clock, walk in the same old bathroom, look at the same old face in the same old mirror, get in the same old shower, dry off with the same old towel and put on the same old clothes.
Then you walk down to the same old kitchen, get out the same old bowl, pour the same old cereal and eat it with the same old spoon, drink the same old coffee, read the same old paper and kiss the same old wife. After that you get in the same old car, drive the same old way to the same old job, sit at the same old desk and laugh at the same old jokes the same old boss tells the same old way.
You clock out at the same old time, get back in the same old car, drive down the same old street, pull into the same old garage, hug the same old kids, walk back into the same old kitchen and sit down and eat that same old dinner.
Finally, you walk to the same old family room, sit in the same old recliner, watch that same old TV show, fall asleep in that same old chair, get up and go to the same old bed, ask that same old wife that same old question, get that same old answer, then roll over and set that same old alarm clock and get up the next morning and do the same old thing all over again.”
That story makes me laugh but also hits too close home. The “same old same old” mentality is driving me crazy, especially at the Y. We keep doing things the same old programs the same old way expecting different results. Isn’t that the definition of insanity?
IBM recently surveyed over 1500 CEOs. In the interviews, CEOs said that creativity was the leadership quality they valued most. Creativity offers new risks, new ideas, new ways of influencing and communicating. Creative leaders invite innovation and encourage others to move past outdated approaches and take balanced risks. They are open-minded in expanding their management and communication styles, particularly to engage with a new generation of employees, volunteers and members.
The IBM study asks:
• How will you develop the critical capabilities to enhance creativity among your leadership team?
• In what ways can you explore, reward and integrate diverse and unconventional thinking?
• What is your approach to challenge your current business model to get the most from currently untapped opportunities?
• How will you leverage new communication styles, technologies and tools, both to lead a new generation of talent and encourage breakthrough thinking?
After you read this, will you respond the same old way?
“You get up at the same old time, shut off the same old alarm clock, walk in the same old bathroom, look at the same old face in the same old mirror, get in the same old shower, dry off with the same old towel and put on the same old clothes.
Then you walk down to the same old kitchen, get out the same old bowl, pour the same old cereal and eat it with the same old spoon, drink the same old coffee, read the same old paper and kiss the same old wife. After that you get in the same old car, drive the same old way to the same old job, sit at the same old desk and laugh at the same old jokes the same old boss tells the same old way.
You clock out at the same old time, get back in the same old car, drive down the same old street, pull into the same old garage, hug the same old kids, walk back into the same old kitchen and sit down and eat that same old dinner.
Finally, you walk to the same old family room, sit in the same old recliner, watch that same old TV show, fall asleep in that same old chair, get up and go to the same old bed, ask that same old wife that same old question, get that same old answer, then roll over and set that same old alarm clock and get up the next morning and do the same old thing all over again.”
That story makes me laugh but also hits too close home. The “same old same old” mentality is driving me crazy, especially at the Y. We keep doing things the same old programs the same old way expecting different results. Isn’t that the definition of insanity?
IBM recently surveyed over 1500 CEOs. In the interviews, CEOs said that creativity was the leadership quality they valued most. Creativity offers new risks, new ideas, new ways of influencing and communicating. Creative leaders invite innovation and encourage others to move past outdated approaches and take balanced risks. They are open-minded in expanding their management and communication styles, particularly to engage with a new generation of employees, volunteers and members.
The IBM study asks:
• How will you develop the critical capabilities to enhance creativity among your leadership team?
• In what ways can you explore, reward and integrate diverse and unconventional thinking?
• What is your approach to challenge your current business model to get the most from currently untapped opportunities?
• How will you leverage new communication styles, technologies and tools, both to lead a new generation of talent and encourage breakthrough thinking?
After you read this, will you respond the same old way?
June 8, 2010
When You Thought I Wasn't Looking - By Mary Korzan
When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator,
and I wanted to paint another one.
When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw you feed a stray cat,
and I thought it was good to be kind to animals.
When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw you make my favorite cake for me,
and I knew that little things are special things.
When you thought I wasn't looking,
I heard you say a prayer,
and I believed there is a God I could always talk to.
When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw tears come from your eyes,
and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.
When you thought I wasn't looking,
you smiled,
and it made me want to look that pretty, too.
When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw that you cared,
and I wanted to be everything that I could be.
When you thought I wasn't looking,
I felt you kiss me goodnight,
and I felt loved.
When you thought I wasn't looking,
I looked,
and wanted to say thanks for all the things I saw
when you thought I wasn't looking.
June 4, 2010
John Wooden is One of My Heroes
John Wooden, legendary college basketball coach, will pass away soon at the age of 99. I am sad because I so enjoy reading his journals, his poems, watching videos of his lectures and speeches. Here are a few excerpts from an article on him that I have kept for a decade.
On the 21st of the month, the best man I know will do what he always does on the 21st of the month. He'll sit down and pen a love letter to his best girl. He'll say how much he misses her and loves her and can't wait to see her again. Then he'll fold it once, slide it in a little envelope, and walk into his bedroom. He'll go to the stack of love letters sitting there on her pillow, untie the yellow ribbon, place the new one on top and tie the ribbon again. The stack will be 180 letters high then because the 21st will be 15 years to the day since Nellie, his beloved wife of 53 years, died.
In her memory, he sleeps only on his half of the bed, only on his pillow, only on top of the sheets, never between; with just the old bedspread they shared to keep him warm! There's never been a finer man in American sports than John Wooden, or a finer coach.
______
Of the 180 players who played for him, Wooden knows the whereabouts of 172. Of course, it's not hard when most of them call, checking on his health, secretly hoping to hear some of his simple life lessons so that they can write them on the lunch bags of their kids, who will roll their eyes.
"Discipline yourself, and others won't need to," Coach would say. "Never lie, never cheat, never steal," and "Earn the right to be proud and confident." If you played for him, you played by his rules: Never score without acknowledging a teammate. One word of profanity and you're done for the day. Treat your opponent with respect. He believed in hopelessly out-of-date stuff that never did anything but win championships. No dribbling behind the back or through the legs. "There's no need," he'd say.
______
It's always too soon when you have to leave the condo and go back out into the real world, where the rules are so much grayer and the teams so much worse. As Wooden shows you to the door, you take one last look around.
The framed report cards of his great-grandkids, the boxes of jellybeans peeking out from under the favorite wooden chair, the dozens of pictures of Nellie.
He's almost 90 now. You think a little more hunched over than last time. Steps a little smaller. You hope it's not the last time you see him. He smiles. "I'm not afraid to die," he says. "Death is my only chance to be with her again."
On the 21st of the month, the best man I know will do what he always does on the 21st of the month. He'll sit down and pen a love letter to his best girl. He'll say how much he misses her and loves her and can't wait to see her again. Then he'll fold it once, slide it in a little envelope, and walk into his bedroom. He'll go to the stack of love letters sitting there on her pillow, untie the yellow ribbon, place the new one on top and tie the ribbon again. The stack will be 180 letters high then because the 21st will be 15 years to the day since Nellie, his beloved wife of 53 years, died.
In her memory, he sleeps only on his half of the bed, only on his pillow, only on top of the sheets, never between; with just the old bedspread they shared to keep him warm! There's never been a finer man in American sports than John Wooden, or a finer coach.
______
Of the 180 players who played for him, Wooden knows the whereabouts of 172. Of course, it's not hard when most of them call, checking on his health, secretly hoping to hear some of his simple life lessons so that they can write them on the lunch bags of their kids, who will roll their eyes.
"Discipline yourself, and others won't need to," Coach would say. "Never lie, never cheat, never steal," and "Earn the right to be proud and confident." If you played for him, you played by his rules: Never score without acknowledging a teammate. One word of profanity and you're done for the day. Treat your opponent with respect. He believed in hopelessly out-of-date stuff that never did anything but win championships. No dribbling behind the back or through the legs. "There's no need," he'd say.
______
It's always too soon when you have to leave the condo and go back out into the real world, where the rules are so much grayer and the teams so much worse. As Wooden shows you to the door, you take one last look around.
The framed report cards of his great-grandkids, the boxes of jellybeans peeking out from under the favorite wooden chair, the dozens of pictures of Nellie.
He's almost 90 now. You think a little more hunched over than last time. Steps a little smaller. You hope it's not the last time you see him. He smiles. "I'm not afraid to die," he says. "Death is my only chance to be with her again."
May 27, 2010
10 Myths All Graduates Should Know
I heard David Chadwick share this in a sermon several years back
1. This world is all there is – I pray that you find that spiritual connectedness to God that becomes your core!
2. Your outsides are more important than your insides – We are bombarded with the notion about looks and beauty. The reality is that we should look for the content of a person’s heart and character
3. Your net worth defines your self-worth – Don’t chase the dollar
4. Your work will define you and your world – This becomes less and less true as you mature….I hope
5. Life is about getting more than you give (Note how close the word miserable is to miser) – It actually is about GIVING!
6. Older people have NO value – We are losing our history, plus people are living longer. We need to make sure we continue to give them value
7. Science has more authority than faith and scripture – It is that awesome connection to faith that gives us strength
8. You can have it all at one time – If it is too good to be true, then it is too good to be true
9. There is no absolute truth – Read the bible!
10. Only the strong survive – Remember those less fortunate!
1. This world is all there is – I pray that you find that spiritual connectedness to God that becomes your core!
2. Your outsides are more important than your insides – We are bombarded with the notion about looks and beauty. The reality is that we should look for the content of a person’s heart and character
3. Your net worth defines your self-worth – Don’t chase the dollar
4. Your work will define you and your world – This becomes less and less true as you mature….I hope
5. Life is about getting more than you give (Note how close the word miserable is to miser) – It actually is about GIVING!
6. Older people have NO value – We are losing our history, plus people are living longer. We need to make sure we continue to give them value
7. Science has more authority than faith and scripture – It is that awesome connection to faith that gives us strength
8. You can have it all at one time – If it is too good to be true, then it is too good to be true
9. There is no absolute truth – Read the bible!
10. Only the strong survive – Remember those less fortunate!
May 19, 2010
Ambition
Who was that old guy in the commercial that said, “Confidence is sexy, Don’t you think?” I can’t recall his name but he was also the cowboy in the Billy Crystal movie where they herd cattle on vacation. Have you ever had a senior moment where you can’t quite remember things?
I love people with confidence. Often times on interviews people will interpret it as arrogance but I can often see a big difference between arrogance and confidence. It is how people carry themselves. Two shakes of confidence with a dash of humility makes the best recipe.
I don’t mind people that aspire to be the CEO, I actually like that. I think arrogance comes across more when people’s ambition is focused on the individual’s definition of greatness or success. When people focus on selfishness (when they don’t have the dash of humility) that is when they struggle to succeed. True ambition is a focus on more noble or worthy goals.
Leaders with ambition toward noble goals tend to bring people along with them. I recently read about the Riverside School in India where the schools focus was to empower the children. The kids in turn took to the streets to end child labor, teach their parents to read and write, raise money for hearing aids and to create a community focus on all children. Plus their grades vastly improved and even surpassed other schools!
Talent can take you to the top, but it is your character that will keep you there. So ambition without humility makes you…….John Calipari?
For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and every kind of evil (James 3:16)
Think today about the motivating forces in your life. Which ones are self-centered and how much is noble? In your prayer time, ask God to show you your selfish ambition and to help you move it out of the way. Ask God for help in setting new goals that will lift others. Maybe you can empower children?
I love people with confidence. Often times on interviews people will interpret it as arrogance but I can often see a big difference between arrogance and confidence. It is how people carry themselves. Two shakes of confidence with a dash of humility makes the best recipe.
I don’t mind people that aspire to be the CEO, I actually like that. I think arrogance comes across more when people’s ambition is focused on the individual’s definition of greatness or success. When people focus on selfishness (when they don’t have the dash of humility) that is when they struggle to succeed. True ambition is a focus on more noble or worthy goals.
Leaders with ambition toward noble goals tend to bring people along with them. I recently read about the Riverside School in India where the schools focus was to empower the children. The kids in turn took to the streets to end child labor, teach their parents to read and write, raise money for hearing aids and to create a community focus on all children. Plus their grades vastly improved and even surpassed other schools!
Talent can take you to the top, but it is your character that will keep you there. So ambition without humility makes you…….John Calipari?
For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and every kind of evil (James 3:16)
Think today about the motivating forces in your life. Which ones are self-centered and how much is noble? In your prayer time, ask God to show you your selfish ambition and to help you move it out of the way. Ask God for help in setting new goals that will lift others. Maybe you can empower children?
May 16, 2010
Just a Couple of Random Thoughts
· I think a great new business venture would be text books on a Kindle. I know companies are doing that. The problem is that the college book store business will drastically change and how do they make that profitable for publishers and universities.
· By the way, I don’t own a Kindle. Wish I did though.
· I got a new car with a hands free/Bluetooth phone. My son says since I have stopped texting while I drive that I need hands free text.
· From an INC magazine article. “What would a world without offices look like? Well Dilbert wouldn’t be funny and there would be no such thing as rush hour traffic. If 40% of the workforce worked from home, (which it probably could) 100 hours per person saved on not commuting, 1500 lives saved to no car accidents, and 200 billion saved in real estate expenses and electrical bills.” Don’t laugh at your friend the next time they say they spent all day at work in their PJs.
· I grow dirt. I just have a few beds that I compost, I till and I rake. No plants just dirt. I like to dig up the worms. Nothing prettier than freshly tilled dirt!
· My father in-law used to joke while walking through Lowes, “this would be a great place for hardware store.” Have you noticed that there service has improved lately? I am going to start watching their stock again!
· I am seeing more and more friends cancel phone service and just use their cell phones exclusively.
· Funniest thing at this year’s Masters was the plane flying over that pulled a sign that read, “Tiger: Did you mean Bootyism?”
· My new favorite quote from Phil Mickelson, “A great shot is when you pull it off. A smart shot is when you don’t have the guts to try it.”
· By the way, I don’t own a Kindle. Wish I did though.
· I got a new car with a hands free/Bluetooth phone. My son says since I have stopped texting while I drive that I need hands free text.
· From an INC magazine article. “What would a world without offices look like? Well Dilbert wouldn’t be funny and there would be no such thing as rush hour traffic. If 40% of the workforce worked from home, (which it probably could) 100 hours per person saved on not commuting, 1500 lives saved to no car accidents, and 200 billion saved in real estate expenses and electrical bills.” Don’t laugh at your friend the next time they say they spent all day at work in their PJs.
· I grow dirt. I just have a few beds that I compost, I till and I rake. No plants just dirt. I like to dig up the worms. Nothing prettier than freshly tilled dirt!
· My father in-law used to joke while walking through Lowes, “this would be a great place for hardware store.” Have you noticed that there service has improved lately? I am going to start watching their stock again!
· I am seeing more and more friends cancel phone service and just use their cell phones exclusively.
· Funniest thing at this year’s Masters was the plane flying over that pulled a sign that read, “Tiger: Did you mean Bootyism?”
· My new favorite quote from Phil Mickelson, “A great shot is when you pull it off. A smart shot is when you don’t have the guts to try it.”
May 3, 2010
Magnanimous
I read an article recently that described the owner of this bakery as a “Magnanimous Worker!” Of course I understood what the author meant but I still had to look it up to be sure. One of the short definitions of magnanimous is “unselfish.”
She was an “Unselfish worker!” Wouldn’t we all like to be described that way?
All of us are nice. And most of us have these outgoing personalities. I would even wager a large portion of my pay check that most of us are even pleasant.
As one of the leaders of our YMCA I am fueled by many questions. Is the reputation of our Y staff one of magnanimity? Is open-handed goodness without strings attached the love we share with people who come through our doors, whether they are regulars or not? Why do we often tout our faith based, servant led culture yet live lives of stinginess?
You have to ask yourself the question; Are you unselfish?
· Do you speak to the visitors who may look a little different or are you selfish with your comments because you just don’t know what to say?
· Do you listen to the rambling stories of the little old ladies or are you selfish with your time and avoid making eye contact with them just so you can avoid the long drawn out conversation?
· Do you ask people how their time in the Y was or how you can make it better or are you selfish in trying to avoid fixing someone else’s problem?
· Do you call and remind people to sign up for programs or are you selfish with your time in feeling like you are babysitting people?
· Do you share with members your story or are you selfish with your own personal life?
· Do you greet everyone with this wonderful over the top greeting or are you selfish with your welcome just for the regular or your favorite members?
· Do you thank people for allowing you the opportunity to serve them as a Y employee or are you selfish with your humility?
· Do you care whether people are losing weight, getting stronger, running faster or further and living a healthier life or are you selfish with your heart and just looking at the time clock?
I love reading the stories of over the top service from Disney, Starbucks, Chick Fil A, etc. I even love when I get the feedback on over the top service from our staff!
We have it in us to be servants. I hope you will take the time to think about how your part of the Y can be unselfish and work hard to translate that passion into your staff!
She was an “Unselfish worker!” Wouldn’t we all like to be described that way?
All of us are nice. And most of us have these outgoing personalities. I would even wager a large portion of my pay check that most of us are even pleasant.
As one of the leaders of our YMCA I am fueled by many questions. Is the reputation of our Y staff one of magnanimity? Is open-handed goodness without strings attached the love we share with people who come through our doors, whether they are regulars or not? Why do we often tout our faith based, servant led culture yet live lives of stinginess?
You have to ask yourself the question; Are you unselfish?
· Do you speak to the visitors who may look a little different or are you selfish with your comments because you just don’t know what to say?
· Do you listen to the rambling stories of the little old ladies or are you selfish with your time and avoid making eye contact with them just so you can avoid the long drawn out conversation?
· Do you ask people how their time in the Y was or how you can make it better or are you selfish in trying to avoid fixing someone else’s problem?
· Do you call and remind people to sign up for programs or are you selfish with your time in feeling like you are babysitting people?
· Do you share with members your story or are you selfish with your own personal life?
· Do you greet everyone with this wonderful over the top greeting or are you selfish with your welcome just for the regular or your favorite members?
· Do you thank people for allowing you the opportunity to serve them as a Y employee or are you selfish with your humility?
· Do you care whether people are losing weight, getting stronger, running faster or further and living a healthier life or are you selfish with your heart and just looking at the time clock?
I love reading the stories of over the top service from Disney, Starbucks, Chick Fil A, etc. I even love when I get the feedback on over the top service from our staff!
We have it in us to be servants. I hope you will take the time to think about how your part of the Y can be unselfish and work hard to translate that passion into your staff!
April 22, 2010
Keepin it Real (From the 2004 archives)
I wrote this in 2004 to the Y membership
My six-year old son Brooks got a soundtrack CD from the movie Holes for Christmas. He begged me to play it so that we could listen to it in the car. The first song on the track was this RAP song, and I instantly hit eject and said, “Listen to that stuff on your walkman!” You see, I am not a big fan of rap music. The Michael McDonald sings Motown CD was more my style.
A funny thing happened over the holidays, though. Brooks memorized the rap song within 24 hours and was constantly singing it throughout the house. “Give me that head set. I want to hear that song,” I exclaimed. The words actually had this great message. I was amazed at what my son was spouting! Here is a verse.
When I was young I used to dream of being rich.
I’d have a lot of houses and cars, Couldn’t know which one was which.
And finding me a chick and getting hitched
Living the fairy tale life without a hitch.
You’d think that this would bring me happiness
If at the end of every rainbow there was a treasure chest
Sometimes having more is really less
So take a look inside yourself and you’ll realize you’re really blessed
No matter how inside you’re blue
There’s always someone who has it worse than you
Sometimes you gotta pay your dues
So don’t worry just push on through.
Got to big up all my peoples who be working on the future
Though they know they got to struggle
To all my homies working on the 9 to 5
And doing right to keep themselves up out of trouble
Although sometimes I know it seems impossible
There ain’t no need in drowning in your sorrows
If things are as bad as they can be
You can be sure there’ll be a brighter tomorrow.
Keep’n it real
Aren’t we like that most of the time? We create an opinion on something before we have truly experienced it. I didn’t like rap music, yet I really had never listened to the words. My son doesn’t like broccoli, and he’s never tasted it. Be it music, race, gender, ethnicity, or vegetables, we are all guilty of being too quick to judge and form opinions.
My goal for 2004 is to not only open my eyes and ears a little wider, but to open my heart. I hope you will join the YMCA as we discuss and celebrate the diversity around our community. Who knows, we might learn a little about each other and ourselves, and we can all be “biggin’ up all our peoples!”
My six-year old son Brooks got a soundtrack CD from the movie Holes for Christmas. He begged me to play it so that we could listen to it in the car. The first song on the track was this RAP song, and I instantly hit eject and said, “Listen to that stuff on your walkman!” You see, I am not a big fan of rap music. The Michael McDonald sings Motown CD was more my style.
A funny thing happened over the holidays, though. Brooks memorized the rap song within 24 hours and was constantly singing it throughout the house. “Give me that head set. I want to hear that song,” I exclaimed. The words actually had this great message. I was amazed at what my son was spouting! Here is a verse.
When I was young I used to dream of being rich.
I’d have a lot of houses and cars, Couldn’t know which one was which.
And finding me a chick and getting hitched
Living the fairy tale life without a hitch.
You’d think that this would bring me happiness
If at the end of every rainbow there was a treasure chest
Sometimes having more is really less
So take a look inside yourself and you’ll realize you’re really blessed
No matter how inside you’re blue
There’s always someone who has it worse than you
Sometimes you gotta pay your dues
So don’t worry just push on through.
Got to big up all my peoples who be working on the future
Though they know they got to struggle
To all my homies working on the 9 to 5
And doing right to keep themselves up out of trouble
Although sometimes I know it seems impossible
There ain’t no need in drowning in your sorrows
If things are as bad as they can be
You can be sure there’ll be a brighter tomorrow.
Keep’n it real
Aren’t we like that most of the time? We create an opinion on something before we have truly experienced it. I didn’t like rap music, yet I really had never listened to the words. My son doesn’t like broccoli, and he’s never tasted it. Be it music, race, gender, ethnicity, or vegetables, we are all guilty of being too quick to judge and form opinions.
My goal for 2004 is to not only open my eyes and ears a little wider, but to open my heart. I hope you will join the YMCA as we discuss and celebrate the diversity around our community. Who knows, we might learn a little about each other and ourselves, and we can all be “biggin’ up all our peoples!”
April 11, 2010
15
I created a monster. About three years ago, I was trying to work in the yard but the kids kept bothering me. “I’m bored. There’s nothing to do,” they whined. April banished them from the house because there is only so much TV you can watch! “Dad, do something with us or take us to the Y!”
So I made up the game 15.
It wouldn’t be so bad except that I told them that I was the neighborhood champion. In fact in the summers all of the neighborhoods in Greenville got together and I won the Greenville “15” Championship too. In fact I was so good that I won the SC State Championship and was a hamstring pull from being in the 1983 Olympics. (There wasn't an '83 Olympics)
Do you think I laid it on a little too thick?
Well “15” takes a regulation baseball toss back and you take turns throwing a small kick ball off the back stop and trying to get the opponent to miss the ball. The first person to get 15 points loses. I shared with them the intricacies of the service point, the dink, the over head slam, and the skillful fake and let the ball go long play.
And I killed my kids at “15.” We would play one on one or as three and also we would coax April out and all four of us would play. I never lost. Trash talking, arguing, crying, turned ankles, scraped knees and hurt feelings…I’ve never lost.
Until last week. We all four were playing and they must have conspired to beat me because Ryanne would give Brooks nice soft bounces and Brooks would slam the unreturnable overhead slam. When I got to 10 I told them I knew what they were doing and they just giggled and denied any conspiracy.
I tried the divide and conquer. “Don’t let her do this to you Brooks. She knows the only way she can win is to eliminate me and then she will beat you!” That almost worked but MOM was still in the game and her cooler head brought them back to the goal….“BEAT ME.” So they did.
Today we painted lines in the driveway so some of the arguing about in or out would cease. I have beaten them both since my defeat. I am back on top. If you drive by the house check out the court. Maybe even play a match or two! And be cautious when the two siblings are being nice to each other!
So I made up the game 15.
It wouldn’t be so bad except that I told them that I was the neighborhood champion. In fact in the summers all of the neighborhoods in Greenville got together and I won the Greenville “15” Championship too. In fact I was so good that I won the SC State Championship and was a hamstring pull from being in the 1983 Olympics. (There wasn't an '83 Olympics)
Do you think I laid it on a little too thick?
Well “15” takes a regulation baseball toss back and you take turns throwing a small kick ball off the back stop and trying to get the opponent to miss the ball. The first person to get 15 points loses. I shared with them the intricacies of the service point, the dink, the over head slam, and the skillful fake and let the ball go long play.
And I killed my kids at “15.” We would play one on one or as three and also we would coax April out and all four of us would play. I never lost. Trash talking, arguing, crying, turned ankles, scraped knees and hurt feelings…I’ve never lost.
Until last week. We all four were playing and they must have conspired to beat me because Ryanne would give Brooks nice soft bounces and Brooks would slam the unreturnable overhead slam. When I got to 10 I told them I knew what they were doing and they just giggled and denied any conspiracy.
I tried the divide and conquer. “Don’t let her do this to you Brooks. She knows the only way she can win is to eliminate me and then she will beat you!” That almost worked but MOM was still in the game and her cooler head brought them back to the goal….“BEAT ME.” So they did.
Today we painted lines in the driveway so some of the arguing about in or out would cease. I have beaten them both since my defeat. I am back on top. If you drive by the house check out the court. Maybe even play a match or two! And be cautious when the two siblings are being nice to each other!
April 1, 2010
Competitive Spirit
Anyone that doesn’t believe in the power of leadership needs to look no further than this year’s North Carolina basketball team and compare it to last year’s team. Oh, I know that there was tremendous talent on last year’s team but they had something extra….they had leadership.
I would wager a month’s salary that the tempo, effort and tenacity at practices with last year’s team were far greater than this year’s team. Do you think for one minute that Tyler Hansbrough wouldn’t fight his teammates on their lack of desire this year? Now that would be one locker room brawl that would be good pay per view.
Some people or teams have that. Larry Bird, Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant had that. I bet Tom Brady, Ronnie Lott and Joe Montana had that. I believe that all great teams and great businesses have that employee or department that sets the pace. They don’t allow the business to fail. And if you are holding the team back, then you need to be culled out from the herd.
These are the people that when the challenge comes forward, they step up and say, “Put me in coach, I am your guy!”
“Don’t worry about a thing,” David told Saul. “I’ll go fight this Philistine!” (1 Samuel 17:32)
You have to love the visual image of this scrawny kid with a few rocks and a sling shot stepping forward to fight the giant. The look on the Israelite’s faces went from utter fear to a tremendous confidence.
This edge isn’t just confidence, this competitive edge is the entire package. This leader works hard, is always prepared. Is disciplined in their life and they are looking for people to follow them.
Pray today that you want let the naysayers and the challenges conquer you. Ask God to fuel your competitive spirit so that you can lead your team, your family, your business. Always remember and lift up those great leaders around you that paved the way for you.
I would wager a month’s salary that the tempo, effort and tenacity at practices with last year’s team were far greater than this year’s team. Do you think for one minute that Tyler Hansbrough wouldn’t fight his teammates on their lack of desire this year? Now that would be one locker room brawl that would be good pay per view.
Some people or teams have that. Larry Bird, Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant had that. I bet Tom Brady, Ronnie Lott and Joe Montana had that. I believe that all great teams and great businesses have that employee or department that sets the pace. They don’t allow the business to fail. And if you are holding the team back, then you need to be culled out from the herd.
These are the people that when the challenge comes forward, they step up and say, “Put me in coach, I am your guy!”
“Don’t worry about a thing,” David told Saul. “I’ll go fight this Philistine!” (1 Samuel 17:32)
You have to love the visual image of this scrawny kid with a few rocks and a sling shot stepping forward to fight the giant. The look on the Israelite’s faces went from utter fear to a tremendous confidence.
This edge isn’t just confidence, this competitive edge is the entire package. This leader works hard, is always prepared. Is disciplined in their life and they are looking for people to follow them.
Pray today that you want let the naysayers and the challenges conquer you. Ask God to fuel your competitive spirit so that you can lead your team, your family, your business. Always remember and lift up those great leaders around you that paved the way for you.
March 20, 2010
March 13, 2010
DC
While I was in Washington, DC this week, I went running. It was borderline spectacular to watch the sun peek up over the horizon as I circled the White House."Good morning Mr. President and Michelle!"
The Washington monument reminded me of.....well it reminded me of what I discussed about two blogs ago!
I got chills as I ran through the War Memorials, and I could swear that as I passed the Lincoln Memorial, Abe Lincoln said, "Good morning Cameron." (Use your best Abe Lincoln voice)
I've blogged in the past about my love for the TV show the West Wing. I could really imagine something like this happening around the healthcare debate. (Click the link)
I strutted around the Congressional Buildings and hallways like I was Josh Lyman. As I met with my Representatives, Senators and their aides, I couldn't help but empathize with their job. Do they do what is right, what their constituents want or do they do what will get them re-elected?
One long time legislator shared with me that back in the old days, you not only knew your opponent across the aisle, but you knew his wife and his kids. He noted that today, there are no personal relationships outside those hallowed hallways. When I heard that I reflected on the story of how Ronald Reagan and Gorbacev negotiated. Things only got done after they sat alone and discussed their personal lives. They talked about grandchildren, hobbies and how their lives paralleled. Only when they connected on a personal level could they work together and compromise. No aides, no agendas, it was just two old friends being friends.
We've lost a certain amount of dignity in our government. It seems to me that it has become about money, and your party and what you can do for me. We have lost that call for duty and honor in serving our country as a legislator.
God bless America
March 5, 2010
Me and Melissa
I got to spend 72 minutes with one of my all time favorite people. It was awesome to catch up with more than just a Christmas Card, email or Facebook message.I am a little distraught in that I look like her father. I don't know why that surprises me, she looked much better than me 25 years ago too!
Can we pull off a Holly Tree neighborhood reunion?
"Growing up happens in a heartbeat. One day you're in diapers, the next day you're gone. But the memories of childhood stay with you for the long haul. I remember a place, a town, a house, like a lot of houses. A yard like a lot of other yards. On a street like a lot of other streets. And the thing is, after all these years, I still look back...with wonder." - From the TV Show Wonder Years (Click on the link)
February 25, 2010
My Favorite All Time Rick Reilly Article
CRUNCH TIME FOR DAD - June 6th, 2005
Dad?
Yeah, son?
What's that on the TV?
Oh, well, pal, that's, uh, that's the volume control. But we usually just use the remote. Like this.
No, Dad. The commercial. What's Viagrow?
Via-GRA. Well, that's, see, that's nothing you really need to know about until you're on, like, your third hip.
Mom said I was supposed to ask you. Viagra, See Alice and Lavoris--she said to ask you about all of them.
Cialis and Levitra. She did?
Yeah.
Pal, have you ever really looked at our ceiling down here? Because if you look at the ceiling tiles, you can make out animal shapes. Like, look right there, I see an elephant!
What?
Hey, look, the game's back on! Let's just sit here and watch the game, want to?
(Pause.)
Hey! There it is again, behind home plate! It says Viagra.
Jeez, that's some amazing coincidence, huh?
What's it mean, on the Cialis ads, when they say you should call your doctor if you get a four-hour--
Hey! I just found a nickel in the couch! You want to look for more? You can keep anything you find!
Dad, does Levitra help you throw the football straighter? Because the guy in the commercial uses Levitra, and then he can throw spirals right through the swinging tire. Because that might help me make starting quarterback next year.
No, no, it's really not about football, buddy.
Well, how come Mike Dinka was always on TV talking about Levitra? He played football.
DIT-ka. I can't imagine how broke he had to be to do that ad, to be honest.
Doesn't Viagra help you hit home runs? Because the guy for the Orioles, Rafael Palmerror, he did ads for it. And he's got more than 500 homers!
Palmei-RO. Well, no, I don't think it helps you hit home runs. But you know what? I think SpongeBob SquarePants might be coming on!
Is it illegal or something? Is it like when Sammy Sosa corked his bat?
Is it like corking your bat? Well, kinda yes, but kinda no.
Did baseball players advertise Viagra when you were a kid, Dad?
No! I mean, I can't see Mickey Mantle doing a Viagra ad. "Hi, I'm Mickey Mantle! And whenever I have trouble becoming...." Ah, never mind.
When we watch NASCAR, I see it on Mark Martin's car. VIAGRA. He got the pole position in the last race. Does Viagra help him get the pole position?
Psheesh! Really, son, don't worry about these ads for Viagra and all that, because a bill was just introduced in Congress to keep those commercials off our TV until after 10 p.m. So, you know, soon you probably won't be seeing them anymore.
Neither will you, Dad. You go to bed at 9:30.
Good point.
Justin says that somebody buys a Viagra nine times a second. Who's he talking about?
I don't know, but I'll bet he could really use a date.
What?
Nothing. Hey, I know, grab one of those copies of Sports Illustrated in that pile. You wanna go through it with me?
Sure! (Pause.) Dad, do all these girls in swimsuits play sports?
Well, some do. I--
How come this one's holding her swimsuit instead of wearing it? Does that make her swim faster?
O.K., forget that--
Wait! Here's an ad for Viagra, too!
Son, let's just drop this whole--
Might as well tell me, Dad. I can always go on the Internet.
(Sigh.) Well, uh, son, Viagra helps guys who--. See, Viagra is something that dads take when they're with moms and things aren't really happening--. See, uh, have I ever told you the story of Jack and the Magic Beans?
Where the magic beans make a huge beanstalk?
Yeah, it works kinda like that. Hey! It's time for SportsCenter! You wanna change the channel quick?
O.K.
Perfect! Let's just sit here quietly and check out what's going on in sports news.
(Pause.)
Dad, what's a Whizzinator?
Dad?
Yeah, son?
What's that on the TV?
Oh, well, pal, that's, uh, that's the volume control. But we usually just use the remote. Like this.
No, Dad. The commercial. What's Viagrow?
Via-GRA. Well, that's, see, that's nothing you really need to know about until you're on, like, your third hip.
Mom said I was supposed to ask you. Viagra, See Alice and Lavoris--she said to ask you about all of them.
Cialis and Levitra. She did?
Yeah.
Pal, have you ever really looked at our ceiling down here? Because if you look at the ceiling tiles, you can make out animal shapes. Like, look right there, I see an elephant!
What?
Hey, look, the game's back on! Let's just sit here and watch the game, want to?
(Pause.)
Hey! There it is again, behind home plate! It says Viagra.
Jeez, that's some amazing coincidence, huh?
What's it mean, on the Cialis ads, when they say you should call your doctor if you get a four-hour--
Hey! I just found a nickel in the couch! You want to look for more? You can keep anything you find!
Dad, does Levitra help you throw the football straighter? Because the guy in the commercial uses Levitra, and then he can throw spirals right through the swinging tire. Because that might help me make starting quarterback next year.
No, no, it's really not about football, buddy.
Well, how come Mike Dinka was always on TV talking about Levitra? He played football.
DIT-ka. I can't imagine how broke he had to be to do that ad, to be honest.
Doesn't Viagra help you hit home runs? Because the guy for the Orioles, Rafael Palmerror, he did ads for it. And he's got more than 500 homers!
Palmei-RO. Well, no, I don't think it helps you hit home runs. But you know what? I think SpongeBob SquarePants might be coming on!
Is it illegal or something? Is it like when Sammy Sosa corked his bat?
Is it like corking your bat? Well, kinda yes, but kinda no.
Did baseball players advertise Viagra when you were a kid, Dad?
No! I mean, I can't see Mickey Mantle doing a Viagra ad. "Hi, I'm Mickey Mantle! And whenever I have trouble becoming...." Ah, never mind.
When we watch NASCAR, I see it on Mark Martin's car. VIAGRA. He got the pole position in the last race. Does Viagra help him get the pole position?
Psheesh! Really, son, don't worry about these ads for Viagra and all that, because a bill was just introduced in Congress to keep those commercials off our TV until after 10 p.m. So, you know, soon you probably won't be seeing them anymore.
Neither will you, Dad. You go to bed at 9:30.
Good point.
Justin says that somebody buys a Viagra nine times a second. Who's he talking about?
I don't know, but I'll bet he could really use a date.
What?
Nothing. Hey, I know, grab one of those copies of Sports Illustrated in that pile. You wanna go through it with me?
Sure! (Pause.) Dad, do all these girls in swimsuits play sports?
Well, some do. I--
How come this one's holding her swimsuit instead of wearing it? Does that make her swim faster?
O.K., forget that--
Wait! Here's an ad for Viagra, too!
Son, let's just drop this whole--
Might as well tell me, Dad. I can always go on the Internet.
(Sigh.) Well, uh, son, Viagra helps guys who--. See, Viagra is something that dads take when they're with moms and things aren't really happening--. See, uh, have I ever told you the story of Jack and the Magic Beans?
Where the magic beans make a huge beanstalk?
Yeah, it works kinda like that. Hey! It's time for SportsCenter! You wanna change the channel quick?
O.K.
Perfect! Let's just sit here quietly and check out what's going on in sports news.
(Pause.)
Dad, what's a Whizzinator?
February 6, 2010
No Yah-Yah
Recently I took our Y Executive team on a bench marking trip to visit DAXKO in Birmingham, AL. DAXKO is a fast growing tech company that is one of our key partners. (Thanks to CEO, David Gray and VP of People, Kris Dunn for their time.)One of the funny things that we learned about their culture is they have this principle rule around the office called “No Yah-Yah.” It doesn’t sound like the Yah-Yah from the Sisterhood but more nasaly. (Sounds like ant) Say it to yourself……More nasal….perfect…No Yah-Yah!
It just means that you don’t complain and whine all the time. I recently shared in our staff training to “leave the drama with your mama!” It is the same principle.
We all have those people in our lives that are just negative. They are the naysayers. They sound like Charlie Brown in that everything that happens in their lives is bad. And when you have a story, they always trump it with a negative comment. They kill culture in your office. They destroy family gatherings, dinner parties, Sunday school, PTA, youth sports, yard work, nap time, car rides…you name it they stomp it into the ground. They create what a recent article in Men’s Health magazine calls “the Bitch Spiral.”
The people that bother me the most are the ones that can come up with 10 ways and idea want work instead of just one way that it can. Can’t never could and won’t never will!
Have you ever noticed that those people are never successful? I mean, the leaders in our world are never the cynics. Oh, you will get the occasional complaint or back to reality comment, but for the most part, great leaders are positive people. Think about it. Name a successful person that is negative all of the time. You can’t do it. Great leaders have to have the belief that they will succeed no matter the circumstances and that usually inspires other leaders around them.
Men’s Health references people like New York Yankee Derek Jeter, Bono, Steve Jobs, George Bush and Barack Obama as leaders who have passion for their jobs and an undeniable belief in themselves and the mission of their work. That is what inspires and motivates our peers, the people we lead and even those that lead us.
Make a pact that tomorrow at work, at home, at school or even in the back yard talking to your neighbor, whenever they start the bitch spiral, you spiral back. Be the better person and above the fray!
Remember, We “No Yah-Yah” around here!
February 4, 2010
Strategic Leadership
It seems that we constantly go faster and faster toward the future. Getting their faster is only making us anxious.
What if as leaders, we realize we cannot create the future we want by increasing the speed of change, by increasing the rush and the chaos? At some point it's up to us to say, "We must take time to think. We must take time to reflect." I think this is one of the most courageous acts a
servant leader can do right now, is to attempt to slow things down, so that people can think about what they’re doing.
What if as leaders, we realize we cannot create the future we want by increasing the speed of change, by increasing the rush and the chaos? At some point it's up to us to say, "We must take time to think. We must take time to reflect." I think this is one of the most courageous acts a
servant leader can do right now, is to attempt to slow things down, so that people can think about what they’re doing.
February 3, 2010
POISE
Have you ever just lost your cool? What would it take for you to just go “postal” on someone? In my job, I often have to “bite my tongue” or distract myself in some way just so I want put my foot in my mouth or cause more damage by saying or doing something stupid.
Last spring, at my son’s little league baseball game a mom came up to me and just read me the riot act. Right in front of my 15 year old daughter, she was verbally killing me over something like the chalk lines were not fresh. Of course she was breathing probably about 6 beers on me as she screamed. And she didn’t just make her point and quietly go away. She kept saying the same thing over and over again. I was doing my best listen first skills, but actually in my mind I was envisioning shoving her down the hill and seeing if her 1.7 blood alcohol level could keep her balance.
After about 10 minutes, I finally got her calm and over to her seat in the bleachers. Another mom came over and said she appreciated how poised I was during that altercation. While I appreciated her comments, I am not sure that biting my tongue and day dreaming of shoving her down a hill is necessarily poise under pressure.
Poise is really when you are just being your natural self without any show or pretense. When I think of poise I think of Mother Teresa, John Wooden, Grace Kelly, my grandfather.
The man in me often likes to organize things but not offer details. Some of my staff, (let’s be honest it’s some of the females) they need details. I always get questions like what should I wear, who is going to be there, what kind of food is being served, should I wear flats or heels, hair up or down, glasses or no glasses, and does this skirt make my butt look big! ARRRGGGGHH….just be yourself!
I digress….Poise is a combination of self control and confidence. It is hard to have that true aura of poise, but it is a culmination of being a dedicated worker, being enthusiastic, being friendly to everyone, being loyal, cooperative and alert. Poise is not being afraid to fail while realizing that we are human and we fail on occasion. Poise is trusting that God is in control!
Pray this week that God gives you the poise that comes from a spirit controlled life.
Last spring, at my son’s little league baseball game a mom came up to me and just read me the riot act. Right in front of my 15 year old daughter, she was verbally killing me over something like the chalk lines were not fresh. Of course she was breathing probably about 6 beers on me as she screamed. And she didn’t just make her point and quietly go away. She kept saying the same thing over and over again. I was doing my best listen first skills, but actually in my mind I was envisioning shoving her down the hill and seeing if her 1.7 blood alcohol level could keep her balance.
After about 10 minutes, I finally got her calm and over to her seat in the bleachers. Another mom came over and said she appreciated how poised I was during that altercation. While I appreciated her comments, I am not sure that biting my tongue and day dreaming of shoving her down a hill is necessarily poise under pressure.
Poise is really when you are just being your natural self without any show or pretense. When I think of poise I think of Mother Teresa, John Wooden, Grace Kelly, my grandfather.
The man in me often likes to organize things but not offer details. Some of my staff, (let’s be honest it’s some of the females) they need details. I always get questions like what should I wear, who is going to be there, what kind of food is being served, should I wear flats or heels, hair up or down, glasses or no glasses, and does this skirt make my butt look big! ARRRGGGGHH….just be yourself!
I digress….Poise is a combination of self control and confidence. It is hard to have that true aura of poise, but it is a culmination of being a dedicated worker, being enthusiastic, being friendly to everyone, being loyal, cooperative and alert. Poise is not being afraid to fail while realizing that we are human and we fail on occasion. Poise is trusting that God is in control!
Pray this week that God gives you the poise that comes from a spirit controlled life.
January 11, 2010
January 6, 2010
January 6th! Hall of Fame Day
I don't pay much attention to major league baseball today. It is not the steroids, it is just that my teams suck. I like the Nationals (Expos) and the Orioles.But if we jumped in the "Way Back Machine" I knew my baseball. As a pre-teen, you could name the team and a position and I could tell you the player. Me and my older brother Carey would play Strat-O-Matic baseball so I learned every player. (For all of you under 30, Strat-O-Matic was a baseball card and dice game. Kind of X-Box with more imagination!)
As a teen, I kept a scrap book of the Expos and Orioles. Once a year I pull out the pictures and it is filled with Andre Dawson for the Expos. He was my favorite player through High School and College.
One year I think it was 1989, the Y sent me to Sweden for a month to work. After 3 and a half weeks of no baseball or box scores, I looked into a Pub and saw an old Cubs game on TV and Dawson hits a homerun. I know the Swedes thought I was crazy for misting up over a baseball game, but it was so beautiful! (Sorry for the pause I need to compose myself from this memory)
Andre Dawson was classy. He worked hard. He played through injuries. He was a team leader and respected by everyone. He wanted to play for the Cubs so bad that he gave them a blank contract and told them to fill in the numbers. He surprised them by signing the ridiculously low offer and went out and became the MVP that year. Can you imagine a player doing that today?
Cal Ripken joining the Hall a few years back was a big deal for me. But if Dawson makes it, it may just mean a road trip. I will dust off my old Expos hats and shirts and drive to Cooperstown.
Let me know of you want to hitch a ride!
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