March 26, 2019

The Snap Chitter

Young people.

How can you walk around with ripped up Blue Jeans? And you paid for them like that!

Constantly fidgeting with your phones, texting the friend right beside you.

What the HELL is Venmo and why do I need it? I have a wallet.

What do you mean, “What is a wallet?”

Changing jobs every 18 months. Not a single care in the world. Except that you want to change it!

How are you going to change the world when you have barely lived in it?

You sit around coffee shops drinking Half Caf, De Caf, Herbal Something Mocha Freaking Lattes and playing on the Snap Chitter. Try drinking some harsh Black Coffee in a real mug while eating some eggs and reading a newspaper. Then call me!

And if you say, “What’s a newspaper, I am going to scream.”

The truth is, I am a little jealous.

My parents deny they ever spanked me, but real life is being chased around and beaten with the sizzler race track.

My mom was upset when I told her to throw away the dozen or so trophies and plaques I got growing up. I can’t imagine the award case you will discard someday.

Try asking someone out on a date in the hallway at school or even over the phone.

You cannot even fathom living with 4 guys in a sparsely decorated dorm room and sharing one bathroom. (actually maybe the best 4 years of my life.) Except for being married and having kids of course.

I am jealous though. You have so many skills and such confidence. You don’t seem to be afraid of anything.

Maybe you can sit with me and show me how to do that Venmo thingy? I’m not interested in the Snap Chitter. You teach me a little about technology and I will help you enjoy real music!

I may even let you use my selfie stick!

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