Talking About Bosses

I’ve joked that I have this deep inner desire to be liked. I don’t want to be the “A**Hole Boss”, but I understand that not everyone agrees with me, supports every decision of mine or, and this cuts a little deep, likes me. I am also self-aware enough to understand that around the water cooler, in an office, out having a couple of beers or a plate of nachos, staff like to talk about their bosses.

“Can you believe he made this decision?”

“She is completely lost if she thinks that will work.”

“My boss hardly speaks to me anymore.”

What do you do when a peer starts digging at the boss? Do you just nod and smile and be an active listener and pretend to be that supportive co-worker being empathetic?

Do you pile on and start throwing fire yourself?

The funniest scenarios are when people sit around and complain about the boss and the culture. And they keep piling on and piling on. They are obviously void of any mirrors in their lives.

I think there is another way to be an empathetic peer but still support the boss and the company. What if when the co-worker says, “Can you believe that the boss fired Susan?” Instead of responding, “I know, he is such an A**Hole.” What if your response was, “I can’t imagine how difficult that decision is to make. I am thankful I don’t have to make decisions like that, and I imagine it wasn’t made carelessly.”

“But he doesn’t even look me in the eye now?”

“I am sure he is embarrassed. I know that if I was in charge, I would feel a large sense of failure in that I had let people down in making that decision. That must be tough on him.”

“But the culture around here sucks.”

“Yes, its tough around here now. What can we do to help our boss and our department?”

I am sure as you read this, you’re saying to yourself, “well that’s the last lunch this person ever invites me to.”

Who cares? If you’re inviting me to a “WHINE” session vs after work “WINE” then I’ll take a hard pass. I want to be part of the solution not part of the cancer that is killing the culture.

I know that not all bosses are great and in fact many fall very short (I type this as I look in the mirror) but I challenge you to coach up – help your boss. Or better yet, just over come the A**Hole boss. Refuse to let them break you.

If that doesn’t work, then get the gas and matches ready and just help burn the place down!